Let’s start with the full moon in Cancer on January 16th…
I love the energy of the full moon. For a pale person like me it is the ultimate recharge to bask or dance or howl under the light of the moon. I usually put my crystals or jewellery out under the moon to cleanse and charge them up too.
Being a Cancerian it was a significant full moon for me to embrace by meditating in gratitude, setting some intentions and making some manifestation wishes aka praying…
I like to read this blog for insight into full moon significance and astrology Mystic Mamma
I was delivered a powerful mala bead necklace by Jana Johnson Healing just before the full moon, which I wore around my neck that night to cleanse and bless and empower my full moon wishes and intentions.I was invited by Jana to a full moon gathering hosted by sound healer and spirit guide White Star.
It was a powerful ceremony of song and chanting and toning, dancing and shaking all sorts of percussion instruments and picking cards to call in our own individual spirit guides before we set off on a guided meditation to receive some important intuitive messages and directions whilst White Star sang and Crystal worked with Tibetan Bowls.
The card I picked as my master spirit guide was Lady Nada. I think she looks very beautiful in a kind of Mills & Boone fantasy way. I found some information about her online here Lady Nada and without knowing all this stuff about her archetype when I drew the card under the full moon, I would say that Love & Christ Consciousness have been the underlying vibrations of my week so it all fits together quite well- spoooky magical, love it!
Then for two days I took part in “Rising Hearts” a workshop study of Acro Yoga and Thai Massage led by Carlos Romero and Bex Tyrer at Villa Naya in Ubud.
Acro Yoga is really very advanced yoga and involves both “Basing” and “Flying” ie being on the ground and lifting humans not weights and also being lifted up and flipped upside dwon. Both basing and flying require complete trust and concentration because one minute out of focus could lead to a great crash and injury, though there is always a “spotter” to ensure that doesn’t happen. On several occasions I was asked to lift men and women who looked heavier then me and to my surprise I was able to lift them suggesting that I am stronger then I thought- it apparently has something to do with locking the bones rather then muscle capacity. We also did a lot of assisted handstands as they are a big metaphor for turning ones point of view upside down, and for the first time in my life I was able to do an unsupported handstand once Carlos let go of my legs it was a pleasant surprise to be able to stay put on my hands unsupported.
After all the basing and flying my body was aching though, in a good and very exercised/workedout kind of way.
I had already done a short one hour thai massage course with Carlos at The Yoga Barn, so it was great to dive deeper into the thai massage techniques. It’s a fun thing to study as it involves both giving and receiving massages. On the second day I filmed it so there will at some point be a Carlos Romero Thai Massage educational video out in the webosphere for those of us that may need a refresher on the “choreography” of thai massage.
Thai massage really feels like a flowing dance wherin the receiver is completely passive and surrendered to the process and the giver has to effortlessly and smoothly pummle, stretch, lift, swing and sway the receiver’s body so as not to disturb the tranquility at the same time to give deep almost yoga stretches whilst massaging…I look forward to giving some thai massage bodywork in the future…who will be my lucky recipients?
It was also accompanied by a group of sound healers who performed global world healing music whilst everyone massaged eachother in a circle and then lay still in sivasana to receive the sound healing- it was quite a sight and the musicians Rob and Patricio were powerful. I filmed it moving in and round and swooping overhead with a D.I.Y steadycam, so there will probably be a world music video for the sound healers filmed that day too.
It was a beautiful community experience and a gathering of many familiar faces that I have seen around or crossed paths with in one way or another over my time here in Ubud.
It was a stretch out of my comfort zone to be able to lift people I saw as being “too heavy” and to trust in my “spotters” whilst doing handstands and turn everything literally upside down! It was a lot of fun to fly.
I have also become really full of wonder in my day to day life out here which is a most joyous way to exsist. It’s almost as though life is a full on game and everytime I make a conscious decision to change something I don’t like about myself or way of living, the universe presents me with a hallenge right away as if to say “so you think you can change?”. In those moments of challenge, my higher self really gets it, the humour of the universe challenging me. My lower self maybe just gets triggered or annoyed by the challenge and tempted to fall back into old familiar patterns of reacting and acting ad my higher self fights to try something new and ask myself “what would love do?” rather then identifying with what my inner child wants or my eo is afraid of…
Anyway perhaps this all sounds a bit cryptic as I usually am more direct in writing about a particular learning experience rather then just a vague and generalised big learning- but there you have it some food for thought that I am loving dealing with as and when this stuff comes up which is pretty much anytime I interact with people!
I also recently experienced the gift of meeting once again with my own coach on skype. This truly is a gift as I have been a great giver, space holder and emotional support to many over the last 5 years since training as a life coach and to have a solid hour of focus purely on bettering myself originally felt slightly uncomfortable for me but I have come to anticipate these sessions with such appreciation and focus also as she is a trained psychotherapist so I feel supported and challenged in many ways through our time together as well as being expanded in my own potential to empower and catalyse greatness in others.
In this session I was led on a guided meditation to meet the “Captain of my ship” the inner essence who is guiding the decision I make in life. This was a very fascinating process as it also required a great deal of surrender for me as I have a very vivid imagination and I had to really let go of constructing my ideal super hero kick ass Captain and really see who would just show up if I let that happen…
Without giving too much away (some things do need to stay sacred for me to integrate them!) I met Captain Love who drives my “ship” my “physical being” through this lifetime. Who re-assured me that I never have been and never will be alone, that I have some great strengths I need to believe in more yet at the same time he sowed me to be very humble and heart centred not arrogant and ego centered. Yes, my ship’s Captain was a he but a very ethereal, radiant and otherworldly almost angelic he. And in this meditation I felt as though I were the consort, the soul mate of this “Captain Love” that I had known him through many lifetimes and that in this “other dimension” or “hyper reality” we had and were always connected”… He looked liked Jesus, my type of guy…I have always had a soft spot for handsome conscious bearded guys.
I also found it very comforting to understand that I could connect to his unconditional love and wisdom anytime I wanted or needed to, through prayer and meditation.
It seems like that guided meditation may also have been a wonderful medicine for some feelings of loneliness that I have been battling with and trying to cover up or push away or deny for a while…
Between this new found inner masculine Ship’s Captain aka “Captain Love”, my inner Goddess “The Angel of Integrity” and my spirit guide that I met on the “Intuition 101” course “Ariel Delphina” the Dolphin/Mermaid hybrid… as well as my inner child, inner parents, inner artist, filmmaker, yogi, coach, ceo and probably many others including the shadows…there is a lot going on and the crew is pretty big…
Without having a clear awareness of all these aspects of the “I” there was much inner clutter or “noise”. As I get to know these conscious and subconscious parts of myself, I am better equipped to silence the opinions or judgements of each as well as to understand which part of me is expressesing itself and then choose which to listen to.
It all sounds a bit long-winded when I take a quick look back at what I’ve just written…
I feel to share it in case you are fully on this kind of self-awareness or personal development journey or are just experiencing some confusion or conflict in life or relationships. Perhaps just starting to notice the many parts of the self that make us each the unique snowflake that we are is a step towards consciousness.
My friends who have attended the Oneness University are all very conscious, sensitive and inspiring and they explain to me that they have learnt to go beyond understanding all the parts of the self and actually detaching completely from the concept of “I”.
For me right now, the thought of annihilating the”I” would mean completely letting go of everything I am just discovering that I am and that I am capable of – which would probably be a blessing in disguise and a totally freedom of the suffering of the mind as this sort of “consciousness” is described, but then if I were to completely annihilate all sense of identifying with “I” why would this mind or body that is me here on earth aka “I” bother to make any plans or do anything with myself and my life other then A: just be fully present, compassionate and happy 24/7 or B: be of service 24/7 to the sick and the poor like Mother Teresa?
Actually I like the concept of living life based on plan A: being fully present, compassionate and happy.
With a good chunk of time dedicated to plan B: being of service to the sick and the poor
And I haven’t quite figuredout yet if it is possible to live that way by continuing to identify with Me/I/The self or if true consciousness is only achieved by annihilating the self and the ego…
(how many times have I used the word Annihilate in this blog! Makes me think of the Daleks in Dr. Who go around repeating “Exterminate Exterminate- Annihilate Annihilate”)
Anyway perhaps enough deep thoughts, questions,reflections and revelations for one blog?
Yesterday, I started the day doing some work on the music video for Jelila‘s song “The Law of Attraction” and it really puts me in a good mood to work on that because I really love that song and I really love her!
Also I have “attracted’ some amazing, talented new friends out here which is interesting… to see who is showing up in my life at the moment…inspiring, authentic, talented and confident people who seee greatness in me- thank you to you angels, I feel so blessed for your appearance in my life and supporting me along this journey to living as my wisest, most conscious, heart-centered self.
On a final note, today I went to my favourite weekly activity of Ecstatic Dance. After the dance, all sweaty and ecstatic- I went to the buffet to get some deliciious vegetarian food and then looked around for somewhere to sit. The entire restaurant was full, every seat taken except one chair, so I made my way over to that chair and asked if it was taken. The guy at the table was engrossed in a conversation with a woman at the next door table and I half wondered why they were not sitting together but was grateful for a seat. Throughout y meal I listened to their very interesting debate discussion about what drives people, it was a passionate debate and I felt invisible as I devoured my big bowl of veggies. Eventually they finished their conversation and the woman left, just as I was finishing my lunch, I noticed a sketchbook on the table with some really amazing drawings in it so I asked the guy if he was an artist…
3 hours and possibly one of the most interesting reciprocal discussion of my life later and it turned out the guy was not only an artist but an entrepreneur and a life coach too.
He also kind of looked like Jesus so momentarily my inner sense of humour wondered if I was in fact deep within some guided meditation and having lunch with “Captain Love”…
Ha anyway if you are looking for a masculine energy Life Coach who is an expert at highlighting the obstacles which are holding people back- I would recommend a session with Adrian Bolli. We sort of coached eachother for few hours but it felt more like conscious sharing then any kind of structured coaching. It was a sacred conversation for sure, one of those fleeting moments as he leaves tomorrow.
Staying put in this kind of magical town is interesting that way too- seeing people come and go and becoming acutely aware of how precious and sacred each moment, each conversation, each energy exchange is…
And I haven’t even started to write about my most amazing day with a colourful creative fashion designer who lives in my fantasy dream house…and who named a bag she has designed after me!
That was truly one of my best and most creatively magical days in Bali so I’ll save that story for a lovebeam about and dedicated to her! It’s been an action packed week- just the way I love it.
Currently feeling vibrant and very alive with a heart that’s recently risen under a full moon and in many ways thanks to some sound healing as well as deep, insightful and at times triggery conversations or encounters has also been cracked open, challenged and decluttered…