Wizardry, Healing, Alchemy

I love my magical life…

After a week of intensive hoop training I feel on a new path of mastery with the sphere, the hoop and the circle as a portal to other dimensions. If you are interested to read more about the art of hooping, I have been blogging about the amazing experiences for the past week on Sacred Circularities and there will be other guest bloggers over on that site for each weeklong retreat over the next three weeks.

Today…

I had breakfast with a Wizard

aka Yogi Master and Dancer Anastasis.

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Anastasis is only reachable by what he describes as “Ethermail” no phone- wow how unusual these days- just like me (well, until Lynne Franks kindly gave me her old phone which was a very supportive metaphor- Thank you Lynne 😉

Anastasis was a ballet dancer and these days has a yoga and dance school in Crete and is mostly touring the world teaching his unique style of “Zorba Yoga”. He can be found this summer teaching at Yoga Festivals in Istanbul, Barcelona, Oxford and Turkey. If you get a chance to practise with him you are in for such a treat. We were doing some early morning filming for Danny Paradise’s new music video “Everyday Grace”. I have attended several Ashtanga and Shamanism workshops now with Danny and Anastasis teaching together and have found the m all enlightening and empowering- highly reccomended!

I had coffee with a Healer

aka Artist and Singer/Songwriter Jelila at Starbucks, of all places! Meeting a healer in Starbucks makes me think of The Matrix for some reason…

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I paid off the remaining %50 of an original artwork/painting of hers that I am delighted to have accquired and also had a chance to checkout her new jewellery designs.

I am a massive fan of Jelila’s healing crystal jewels and book about crystal healing. I have been learning a lot about healing and crystals in particular from her over the last few months and she has become a great friend and a soul sister out here.

I had lunch with an Alchemist

aka Artist & Filmmaker SOH Alex Vermeulen at Ubud Raw food hotspot Alchemy.

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I was invited back to Alex’s studio to view his latest feature film SOH which is a mashup of Science Fiction and Opera/Theatre

You can view it here 

I learnt that Alex was a pioneer of PIoneer interactive VJ software and I have asked him to be my VJ mentor…as he said he has moved on from VJing and is mostly interested in making feature films these days and would love to work with Sci-Fi author William Gibson and make music videos with Lady Gaga and Prince. Watching some of his live VJ demos was mind-blowing and made me think of a scene in a movie I love “The Fifth Element”, where Leeluu is having her mind blown by all these scenes of terror and the shadows in human nature when she discovers the internet…it felt a bit like that. I was impressed when he told me that one of his VJing highlights was the premier of American Psycho in NYC.

I also got to meet a renowned healer called Per Van Spall who popped over briefly. I had heard a lot of good things about Per, so it was interesting to finally meet him.

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All in all it has been a most inspiring day and I live for the magic in life.

The more I welcome magic and wonder, the more it seems to find me too. Such is “The Law of Attraction” in action.

I am currently excited about getting back on the remixing horse as I feel very inspired to produce some electronica remixes of Sound Healing as well as diving into editing some beautiful projects including music videos for Pablo J and Danny Paradise, a promo for Desa Seni “Celebrate Life” and one for “Rising Hearts” which is an Acro Yoga and thai massage retreat experience. That’s how I roll on independent projects- by bouncing between audio and visual platforms- to keep up the enthusiasm and freshness.

I’ll basically be geeking out on my computer for the next few weeks…

Glad I have my hula hoops and yoga practise to keep me in shape….maybe I will take a break and flee to the sea and surf- catch the waves whilst I still can.

Europe is beckoning me and it seems like I will make a pilgrimage over to this year’s Cannes Film Festival to catchup with industry friends and former colleagues, to wear some great outfits, to have some glam fun in a new and conscious way and to promote a community project which is also my writing/directing feature film debut- now complete. Maybe I’ll even get some job offers or more Creative work out of it? Yes please!

These are some recent posters I have made (feel free to share them) and bye for now xo

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Kundalini, Naturopathy & A little bit of Bahasa

I’m inspired to post about the Kundalini yoga which I have been practising for the last few days with Dani Durgani aka Jiwanpal Kaur. My friend and neighbour golden Oneness Goddess and devotional singer Harmony Polo invited me to take an early morning class with her and in that first class my kundalini energy was activated but it got stuck in the manipura chakra more specifically at my liver which began to hurt and metaphorically “speak to me”. Now chakras are one of the most fascinating aspects of yoga to me and Kundalini Yoga very much focuses on connectiing, charging and balancing the chakras and energy body, moreso then other forms of yoga it feels a more spiritual energy-based yoga tradition. I love exploring the different styles of yoga on offer out here and around the world, also  continuing to learn from amazing teachers. This current exploration of Kundalini is definitely raising my vibrations and that is very much in line with the intention I set for 2014 (see New Year’s Eve blog). I have also been introduced to the beautiful healing sounds of Snatam Kaur which is played at the end of a Kundalini yoga class.

At breakfast after the morning class, a fellow yogi suggested I write a letter to my liver and ask it for any information it might be trying to send me.

So I did it, I wrote a letter to my liver and it told me to “Say YES to speaking my truth as frequently as possible, despite being pretty certain at times that someone may react negatively to what they hear. Allow others the power to own their reactions, it is not doing anyone a favour to be nice in an attempt to help them avoid pain. Speak your heart-centered truth more and often and ask friends and loved ones for support in this process. Express a support of this authentic truth-speaking in others as well. Invite it in as a normal way of communicating and co-create a conscious community of truth speaking, heart centered relationships and collaborations. Also please say NO to alcohol and sugar. One glass of champagne or very good red wine as a rare exceptional treat is fine but no beer guzzling when you are surfing at the beach and no cocktails when you are celebrating or jetsetting. Beer is fattening and cocktails are just sugary poison.”

Wow what clear demands this dear liver was asking for! I know that it was also shifting and clearing some gunk from the Cloves I had developed a sudden and very irritating penchant for since returning to Bali.

I was really upset with myself for returning to smoking and filled with shame about it. I somehow justified it to myself that they weren’t really cigarettes because they were made with cloves and tasted like sugar and cinnamon and smelled delicious like incense…but that was complete and utter bullshit and the underlying truth is that I was feeling very anxious about the mountainous video workload I have built up- I am speedy with shooting but slow with editing…anxious about my new housing situation after a dissapointing return and not ending up living with the friends I had planned, hoped and wanted to rent with here so ending up alone in a big house for a few weeks ( ha could be a lot worse!)  and a need to negotiate boundaries around the new people who had been proposed to move into the spare bedrooms…flatmates yikes…space invadors yikes…not being in control of my home live and work space yikes…it all triggered me to the max and got me falling back on an old familiar crutch of smoking again in a lame attempt to claim my space or starting hurting myself into consciousness or something…

Anyway I was sitting in a warung puffing on a clove and feeling so mad at myself for doing so at the same time. I struck up a conversation with a women at the tbale next to me who happened to be a retreat leader/creator, a naturopath, acupuncturist, and hypnotherapist specialising in quit smoking therapy…ANGEL!

“I really need your help right now” is what I said. I told her I had been praying for someone like her to help me kick these nasty cancer sticks to the curb…I had been doing so well without them for months and in just one casual puff I was once again hooked for a few days…

So that was 2 weeks ago and a few days later she came over to my house and we recorded her doing an empower hypnotherapy session around how disgusting cigarettes, cloves and any toxins are….I asked her to please suggest that when I may get  acraving to smoke, that I have the consciousness to really feel into my emotions and ask “what am I feeling right now” to name it internally and to repeat the mantra “this too shall pass”. This process gets easier as the cravings diminish but it’s quite amazing how the addiction can restart after only a few days of unconsciously smoking.

So Here I am on day 6 now smoke free and back on the “smoking is disgusting” mindset, the hypnotherapy session definitely helped me, the mantra I chose of “This too shall pass” has been overriding any possibility of running to a shop and buying some cloves to smoke. I am determined to live a smoke free life and to ride these waves of emotion and cravings into consciousness, into knowing exactly what I am feeling when I am feeling it and not numbing any underlying pain with toxins. I really am getting to a place where I love myself too much to treat this body temple badly with toxins like alcohol and cigarettes. I love feeling conscious and alive too much to pollute my physical and energy body with toxic gunk and I love life too much with all it’s wonder and synchroncity and kismet…to shorten my time here on earth in this beautiful curious feminine form.

So far it has worked… I don’t want to smoke, I tam back to thinking it’s disgusting, I can override any cravings and am paying even greater attention to what is really going on inside me which of course also gives me greater empathy for the silent struggles that others may be grappling with too.

If you are in Bali or want to work with Anne Maree on skype to quit smoking or with a number of other things she is an expert in treating. Checkout her website here Bali Vitality

After working through that over these last few days I have just noticed how the intense kundalini exercises strengthen my aura and energy body. Something seems to be shifting in the way people to relate to me. I have noticed that I am becoming more in demand as a photographer, videographer, writer, marketing consultant and just generally being invited to more meetings and rendezvous….getting asked out on dates and a high dose of romance injected into my life would be fun… though I’m currently finding myself wary of socialising ( so how can anyone ask me out?) and short on time ( so how can I go out?) as I have piled up a mountain of videos to edit and now have a greater need to use the word “NO” effectively and not to waste time on storytelling excuses as to why I am using the word NO but just to say it strongly and clearly with love and then let go of FOMO (Fear OF Missing Out) or wanting to be liked by people. I know that using a strong heartfelt NO creates more space for me to lovingly apply myself fully and effectively to anything I say YES to…such as romance ha!

I have also become more energised and pro-active although the challenge for me right now is tapping into the lucid, creative intuitive side that loves to and needs to write (a script) right now…I am charged up on the doing/being present energy and I’m working on reconnecting a bit with my loner, emo super creative side- so perhaps thats where I need to do some more serious work…on being present in this world fully proactive and firing on all cylinders yet still very connected to my dreamy, intuitive nature and imagination…

I know I am most creative when I spend a lot of time alone but this is of course quite a lonely process too…so perhaps the world is throwing some big challenges at me right now like “step up to it lady- this is your time to both make shit happen and come up with great ideas and creations”. Always up for a challenge I am rising to it.

Also super excited to get involved with this year’s Bali Spirit Festival. With an inspiring lineup of world famous musicians, artists,speakers and yoga teachers it will be an action-packed week long experience for all those lucky enought to be out in Bali at that time March 19-24th some tickets still available!

I did my first private Indonesian Bahasa lesson yesterday with a lovely teacher called Ibu Ayu and it is a super challenging language filling me with admiration for any expats who learn to speak Bahasa- am I really going to manage it? Seems to me that there are some familiar links in some of the words to spanish and latin which helps me to grasp it a bit better, but so many words with difficult vowel sounds to explain a simple thing…will it stick? Let’s see…. I started writing some phrases down and got into a deep discussion with the teacher about some of it and ended up writing down this little chunk of words in English and in Bahasa.

Saya Panulis, Film Producer, Fotografer dan Guru Yoga

Ubud adalah tempat yang bagus untuk belajar banyak hal tentang hidup, seperti seni kebahagiaan.
Ibu Ayu bertanya “Bagaimana caranya?”
Jawaban saya: Selalu bersyukur. Setiap kesempatan itu berharga.
Ibu Ayu bertanya “Baik kebahagiaan maupun kesedihan?”
Jawaban saya:”Pelajaran tersembunyi

In English:

I’m a Writer, Filmmaker, Photographer and Yoga Teacher

Ubud is a good place to learn many things such as the art of happiness.

Ibu Ayu asks “How to be happy?”

I say ” By practising gratitude. Every moment is precious”

Ibu Ayu asks “both happiness and sadness are precious?”

I say “Yes. Lessons in disguise”.

Well this seemed to make sense at the time and between trying to absorb a multitude of Bahasa phrases ( most of which I have forgotten today) it was fun to try communicating a deeper conversation between English and Bahasa.

Early today prompted by a video an amazing friend shared on facebook…I sat down to write a free flow on the themes of Integrity, Sexuality, Desire and Boundaries.

Wow such powerful themes to write about and certainly more than a books worth of material if I were to write about just those themes…very revealing.

I am very interested in dialogue and to collect stories on these themes with other single people, people who are walking a conscious path, people who are leading accountable lives as teachers, people choosing to live alternative or unconventional lifestyles-  a sort of educational sexual Ted Talk/Debate….as a topic sexuality, desire and integrity hasn’t really reached mainstream media yet has it? The subject of the power of sexual energy and the multitude of ways to channel and master sexuality and desire are surely fascinating to many on the solutions and magnified life experiences such mastery can create…anyway that’s for another blog perhaps….an exploration of Tantra!

Whilst writing on the themes of sex and sexuality I am of course listening to Dakas/Dakinis/Tantrikas Deva Premal, Miten and Manose

Also wanted to share some images which I recently shot in a lush jungle garden for a collective world music funk jam band based in Bali called “Garden Underground”.

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Garden Underground visionary Producer & Bali Sprit Festival Music Director Rob Webber

Also excited to share an idea for crystal healing “Conflict Resolution” jewellery that came to me in a flash download and that I shared with friend, author and healer Jelila (who I have been learning a lot about crystal and energy healing from over the past few months) Well our co-creation of green agate for understanding, rose quartz for soothing and fresh water pearls for divine wisdom has gone intoo production and I am the proud owner of the first two pretty prototype samples. You can order your own to wear and bring awareness to/clear away any inner or outer conflicts or as a perfect gift for a friendship that may need some healing. Click on the image below for a direct link to Jelila’s online shop.

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Now I have some serious homework to do…back to the documentary script-writing!

May your days and nights be full of love in all it’s many forms…

Bye for now

Sound Healing Documentary & The Conscious Hipster Collection

I am so inspired by people who allow me to film them- it is a great privlege and also a great way to learn.

I wonder if any potential Executive-Producers out there might be reading this and might also be willing and able to kick off 2014 meeting/pitching with a tv comissioner for the documentary project working title “Sound Healing. I am gathering a lot of footage of the inspiring and colourful characters for a film about modern day healers. In Bali I am focusing mainly on healers working with sound including all of the Bali Sound Healers Collective. I’m also exploring themes like what is life like for a modern day healer who is “in this world but not of it” and looking at alternative new age lifestyles, focusing on some of the shiny souls I am meeting in Ubud, also known as “The New Age Capitol of the world”.

I would love to continue meeting with and filming alternative healers around the world. There are of course so many different types of modern day healers from Reiki Masters to Acupuncturists to Shamans and beyond, I would like to travel, meet, film and learn from them all.

I would also like to manifest Executive Producers to mentor, promote and secure a broadcaster for this project- ideally as a feature length documentary or possibly as a series for the BBC or CBC. I am open to any pointers and suggestions.

Here are a few photo portraits of some of the awesome people that I have been filming with so far out here.

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Shervin Boloorian

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Shervin Boloorian

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Punnu Wasu

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Punnu Wasu

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Larissa Israel

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Fire-Mane Honey-Voice

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Jelila

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Kash Killian

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AwaHoshi

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Baba Ji

In the run up to Christmas and the wrap up of 2013, the only place where it feels vaguely Christmassy here is in Starbucks. I will miss my family and it does feel strange to be on my own out here at this festive, family time of year.

I’m remembering that movie I pitched years ago at Raindance: Live Ammo!…it was for a film I named “Scroogie”- a modern day adaptation of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” but this version revolved around a hard-working single woman who is alone at Christmas and she meets the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. To me this was a commercial, seasonal, rom-com kind of no-brainer-get-the-green-light movie concept with a guaranteed annual audience and replays on cable tv…a Sandra Bullock kind of movie. Anyway it was shot down in the competition for being “too commercial in concept”. Here I am now a bit like Scroogie in my story but I’m happier, hippier and in the tropics so really my life is not at all like “Bah Humbug!” Scroogie…thankfully. But the recapitulation time travel sort of work I am doing out here does echo the concept of past/present/future visions…

For Christmas, I am facilitating the empowering transformative experience of the Oneness cours- this will be my way of giving back for a process that empowered me to do a lot of healing work. I’ll be “holding space” for empowerment and transformations to take place, then I will probably go to the beach and catch some waves for a few days before heading to work as a volunteer running workshops at The Soulshine Festival and then back up to celebrate New Year‘s Eve at The Baliwood Mansion which all sounds very curious and potentially very fun.

I am giving myself the gift of some coaching sessions for xmas via skype with someone I met on a training course we both did in London. She has just finished her studies and has evolved from a brilliant psychologist into a co-active coach. It felt unusual and great to be coached for a change.

In my session, I committed to saying 5 no’s for every yes in order to exercise my “NO muscle”. This is a warning that my answer to your request is likely to be NO for a while. This will be an interesting challenge and will hopefully annihilate any trace of “FOMO-Fear of missing out”.

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I’m also committed to nurturing my femininity, as I realised out here through all the recapitulation, that my “inner masculine” “control freak” has mostly been running the show for years now and that it is a major factor in my feeling anxious, stressed and sometimes burntout. Allowing my masculine energy to run the show as a Producer, Director, Consultant and Coach has built layers of armour and an unsafe feeling around my vulnerability and femininity….

So I am giving time to my inner Goddess every day out in the tropics and am committed to honouring her in some way out here every day…doing things like dancing, singing, listening to my intuition, reading tarot cards, swimming, massages, dressing up…smiling more….

Today my inner Goddess was honoured by Jelila with a surprise gift of a crystal “Goddess Crown” which I love and will continue wearing as much as possible to honour both my inner Goddess and all Goddesses everywhere!

And by the way…here’s some breaking news of an endeavour that totally feels right for me,,, I am launching an online shop which is going to grow and grow in 2014.

The Conscious Hipster Collection will offer holistic, empowerful and pretty fashion and lifestyle accessories all sourced directly from the designers and creators I know or meet along the way on my journey.

“A virtual boutique of conscious chique”

Coming soon…

Music Mansion, Yoga Barn, Crystal Cave

Yesterday was my busiest, most proactive and consciousness challenging day so far in Bali. I began with a video shoot for Jelila’s song “The Law of Attraction” in a quirky, colourful and beautiful hotel and spa called The Mansion. Not only did they allow us to film in there but they explained how they actively support collaborations and creativity. I told them about my time living at The Gershwin Hotel in NYC as an artist in Residence and explained how they run an inspiring and empowering artist residency programme there. IT sounds like The Mansion are kicking of an artist residency programme soon too beginning with co-creation initiatives and onsite collaborations such as ours. I am also delighted that they were open to and supportive of the “Sound Healing” documentary project I am making and invited me to come back and film more music videos, interviews and performances with other sound healers in and around their amazing Ubud Mansion, swimming pools and gardens. Such a colourful, eccentric and great place, I am very curious about and would love to meet the owners.

We had found a beautiful woman the day before called Katerina at Soma Cafe and Jelila  asked her to be the healee and  babe in the music video- she was totally up for it too. Suddenly the team was expanding and it felt more like creative playtime and improvisation then a professional shoot at The Mansion.

It was inspiring to begin filming there with Jelila. We had been told by the Manager that filming was allowed for 3 hours and I had planned to try Guerilla-style shooting of a music video, an interview and a mini crystal healing session to include in the music video also to get a testimonial feedback with Katerina the model/healee.

Just as we were about to start rolling a guy showed up who also turned out to be an uber creative VJ and cinematographer with his own Canon 5D and he offered to helpout with filming too. Suddenly our team was expanding.

I was anxious about timing also because I was scheduled to teach a free community yoga class at The Yoga Barn later that day and had also pre-arranged to go after that to film a sound healing performance with AwaHoshi at Taksu Spa after the yoga class. It was my first day out here of lining various endeavours up back to back. This is the norm for me back in London and is the lifestyle of juggling that I began to find very stresfull, so this created some anxiety for me, perhaps the memories of always trying to do too much juggling…and not doing any of it well enough, up to scratch, as good as the perfectionist in me would like things to be…

We managed to get through the filming and wrap up our shoot only 90 minutes later then originally planned leaving enough time for us all to be driven home in the pouring rain, for me to make a playlist of pefect songs for my yoga class, to jump in the pool as a cleanse to release the masculine energy of directing a video and welcome in the feminine energy of teaching a yoga class and also to charge the camera batteries.

Here are some photos of our shoot at The Mansion

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It was an amazing location to shoot a video for a beautiful healing song, the performers were brilliant, the crystals were in abundance and even Haidai, who showed up last minute to muck in did a great job.

DSC_0067I did feel a bit torn at times between taking control/masculine//directing/ and holding space for creative playtime/intuitive/feminine/producing. My intention though was and always is to bring out the best in everyone, starting with myself. I was reminded yesterday that there are some important steps I must remember to include- like meditating together as a group to all be on the same frequency before starting (especially important for a Guerilla-style shoot with no shot lists or script).

It’s amazing how a film shoot becomes a whirling tornado of energy and ideas. I am reminded of how bossy and demanding Directors are and also of my deep longing to be a different kind of Director- it’s a battle though and I am not certain that is possible within a time frame- to be a Director who is more focused on bringing out the best in others then on getting the shots in. Jelila was telling me that my attachment to and worry about time and timing would only continue to create problems for me around time. So if I can bring awareness to the fact that that which I worry about will manifest and become worse…then I can focus more on what I want and less on what I do not want and put the law of attraction into action and in a way that supports me rather then works against me…

Urghhh ummmmm ok!?! It gave me a lot more to digest then I had expected. Who would have thought that a film shoot could also become such a great opportunity to learn more about my shadows!?

Anyway, here is a great shot of Jelila and Katerina looking glam in front of the camera.

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As Jelila sang “The Law of Attraction” over and over again and we filmed it all with two cameras in various beautiful locations around the Mansion…I felt a great sense of awe and wonder that the song I have been listening to for years was being performed in an amazing space live in ront of me and that I was filming it all with a cool random team- talk about the alw of subconscious manifestation/attraction in action!

I also unfortunately found myself jumping out of presence at moments and becoming anxious about preparing the music for my yoga class and quietly more irritated and even angry at times that we had another filmmaker jumping in to give direction sometimes too. I guess the words “irritated” and “angry” were emotions coming from my ego- good to realise this but what to do when it happens I had to ask myself…So I kind of started to feel overwhelmed by it all ( the self-awareness on top of trying to get the shoot in the can) and not very grounded or blissedout or confident as my self awareness progressed through the tornado of shooting, rolling rolling- so much energy and so much to get done in a short space of time… I was basically subliminally coaching myself to get over any anxieties or anger and just see how fucking brilliant it all was, us there making great things happen on the fly and shooting from the hip!

Taking a step back to breathe for a moment, come in to presence (not worry about teaching the big yoga class in a few hours or my ego wanting to be in control or my heart wanting everyone to just enjoy the process). So I paused to connect to, assess and express my feelings “I’m feeling angry and I just need to say it so I can let it go thank you.” which gave me a chance to own and then detach from those negative emotions, thankfully this authentic approach is normal communication out here. Being met by Jelila with a simple “ok” in response totally diffused my anger and made me lough out loud at myself also to see anger and irritation as a concoction of my subconscious mind stirring up emotions which were not serving me other then perhaps asking me to change the way I approach film shoots in the future…

It also gave me some clarity that I was definitely going to be affected even behind the camera throughout filming a project about healing. Of course I was going to be receiving healing through this process too, even if I am busy producing and directing, it is still going to affect me energetically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. I am certain that a mix of anger and anxiety were bubbling within me because I had setout an overly ambitious goal for our few hours in The Mansion and I was battling between the perfectionist and the Guerilla filmmaker whilst my subconscious was trying to make me let go of “The plan” to just go with the flow and enjoy the playfulness and enthusiasm and talent that this amazing little team were bringing to the Mansion.

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Anyway…we did it all got everything intended to film that day- I dont really know how but we did film it all!!

The feeback I received from Jelila and Katherina was that the loved the whole experience and found it all very confidence boosting. I still have to sit down with Haidai and see his footage and learn how he found the experience diving into our team without knowing any of us- did he feel welcomed our rejected and what was his intention in being a part of it all? I am sure he is talented, some of the shots I saw looked beautiful and it certainly is unusual for me to work with someone I don’t know at all just like that. Perhaps with some brainstorm time, we will shoot more videos together at the Mansion.

My intention is to empower and to bring out the best in people but I know I have to set my boundaries in order to be able to do that effectively. I was super grateful to have conscious people around, so when I vented and said “I am feeling kind of angry right now and I don’t know what to do about it so I just want to put it out there.”

It made me contemplate the illustrations Jelila had made for her presentation before and how they related to what was happening around me.

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Here’s the Flyer for the “Shadows & Light” Friday 13th 2013 Yoga class I offered to the Community and residents of Ubud for free at The Yoga Barn.

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Here’s the yoga playlist I ceated as a soundtrack for the class. These are songs that I felt really suited the flow I had created for my class and also themeatically that suited the concept of exploring shadows and light. I encouraged everyone to visualise healing light enetering their body and energy field with every inhale and exhale wvisualising releasing mental negativity, emotional and physicial toxicity or an easier way I would describe it as dark matter It has inspired me to put more of my yoga class soundtrack compilations up on mixcloud

Shadows & Light : Yoga Compilation

Teaching was awesome, there were so many people who showed up despite the tropical rain downpour- it seems that everyone does love a free yoga class. It was also interesting to have a class of such mix abilities, from people who were trying yoga for the first time to teachers. I sat for a few moments to meditate and call in the support of my great teachers, all those who loved music and would appreciate my soundtrack too. I asked God, Spirit and the Divinely abundant energy force of unconditional love to assist me with guiding this group safely through an awerness of their internal shadows and light to wherever they each needed to go and as I began to open up and invite all my great teachers to move their wisdom through me- I experienced something very new and very awesome.

Time flew and suddenly we were there with a room full of sweaty happy people lying in Sivasana.

We wrapped up the class and I grabbed the laptop, tripod and camera and raced down to Taksu and down down into the avatar jungles to find and start filming AwaHoshi‘s crystal sound healing vibrational medicine. It was the perfect end to an intense and magical day of living so much of my life passion- collaborating, filmmaking, empowering, teaching yoga, giving and receiving healing, learning, growing setting boundaries, understanding, feeling…

AwaHoshi invited us all to chant for a bit and then to each make offerings to Mother Nature and one by one release the offerings of flower petals down into the river below.

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Taksu is a magical and beautiful setting deep down in the Avatar-like jungle. Once the lights were switched off it was super atmospheric by candlelight but too dark in my opinion to let the camera roll on for 40minutes. After filming some of the candlelit, powerful and atmospheric performance, I too then lay down to receive some healing crystal vibrational medicine. I feel something different each time I experience the resonant healing of the crystal bowls. I love it each time as it always takes me on a deep journey into myself. It was really good and an unexpected emotional release too at the end of such a busy full day I felt tears in my eyes and also felt they were tears of gratitude and healing.

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When I spent some time with Awahoshi at her home, I told her that my intuition saw her playing the crystal bowls on a massive stage and giving healing sounds to thousands of people at a concert beside a famous rocks star/musician. When I asked her who she would most like to do that with she said Peter Gabriel. So, let’s just put that idea out there and see what manifests.

I saw a vision of her performing alongside Bjork and Yoav with a large audience in a circle around them, lying on the foor to receive their sound vibrations, healing and guiding their audience on a journey of empowerment and transformation…

I am actually finishing this blog now in the middle of the night because I have been woken by a cockroach crawling on me whilst I was sleeping. This is thankfully only the second time it has happened but I find it pretty freaky. I switched on the lights to see 2 kittens and one adult cat in here, so why don’t they scare cockroaches away? I suppose the good thing is that it has woken me up to finish writing this blog. 3am now and I would like to go back to sleep and awake rereshed and ready for tomorrow’s Ubud Sunday community ritual of ecstatic dance.

Despite waking up in the middle of the night by a cockroach, I feel am bursting with love and gratitiude and that’s a great feeling. Look forward to sweating my prayers and gratitude on the dancefloor.

I will be doing some filming interviews and performances of sound healers this week but I am going to try and practise presence more then I have been doing out here. I think I will do a blog with highlights of the week rather then a daily drizzle of my own internal working-out of things. Seriously though life is getting so interesting and full of challenges, every time I feel I have figured something out about myself or about life, I am almost immediately tested to see if I will repeat a pattern or choose something new! So I want to try a week of just living with and integrating everything I have been learning and wind down the attachment to people, places, things and writing about or documenting it all….for a week at least.

Goodnight & Goodmorning.

Lovebeam: Jelila

Yesterday I filmed a presentation and performance by artist, author, musician and healer Jelila. It took place at a cool little cafe full of beautiful earthy types. The cafe was called Soma  and it specialises in Organic, Raw “High Vibration Food”.

Jelila is giving a talk and doing a musical performance at Soma every Thursday from 3pm. Next week will be a juicy-themed talk about Tantra.

The talk was a presentation based on her concepts and writings in her book The Gift as well as teachings about crystal healing and the properties of crystals based on her new book The Power Of Crystals. The traffic outside and motorbikes whizzing past were really noisy and fresh juices were being blended every few minutes, forcing Jelila to project her voice loudly without a microphone. Other then that it was really interesting stuff that she covered. I’ll put a short video from the presentation up on youtube soon.

Here’s a video where she explains the multi-crystal, chakra healing Yoga Chord

Here are some photos from yesterday’s talk and musical performance.

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And here are some photos of her beautiful healing crystal jewellery.

As you can probably tell, I’m a fan of the jewellery which is both pretty and powerful.

I also really love Jelila’s lullabye-like songs which are infused with a “healing vibration”. I plan to include clips of her in the documentary about Sound Healing that I’m beginning to shoot out here.

You can listen to all Jelila’s music online and buy/download it here Jelila Music

The Law of Attraction is my favourite one, sometimes I just switch off my phone and lie down for 20 minutes, floating off into positive thoughts as I listen to it.

Song: The Law of Attraction

I’m now about to rush off and have a one to one lesson in crystal healing with her which is exciting. We will also be discussing her book and the work involved in a personal development and healing program she ha created called The Gift.

The Gift of Harmony

Checkout Jelila’s jewllery on http://www.jelila.com

I think these are perfect presents. You can even perscribe a necklace to empower a particular area in someone’s life such as : Self Esteem, Abundance, Harmony, Detox, Love etc…

I love this pretty and powerful jewellery so much, I would like to have one of each necklace and may even become a wholesaler or probably just be a jewellery Ambassador (easier and less of a financial burden whilst I am a free bird, travelling light!)

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My brain feels really full at the moment from all the learning I have been doing on the Oneness course this week and my computer is getting pretty full of video clips from all the filming i hve been doing. So I am probably going to take off out of the jungle of Ubud for a bit to somewhere by the sea where I can surf and edit. That way,  I don’t get a massive backlog of un-edited videos plugging up my hardrive.

A little bit more learning with Jelila, a bit of crystal healing and a lot of inspiration in this magical little town on a far away tropical island!

Surfing & editing sounds really good and exactly what I want to do next. First I have to do some research into the best places with good vibes and a nice surf community in Bali. I don’t want to and can’t surf massive wave walls or tubes, which Bali is well-known for. I’m also investigating places to scuba dive and to learn how to go deeper with free-diving in a mermaid-like double fin flipper.

Crystal Healing and Shamanic Wisdom

Well it’s now a bit late in the day for me to be writing a blog, I just didn’t get around to it this morning as I had an early breakfast rendezvous with Danny Paradise and Bibi, so instead I am here and now rattling this out quickly and waiting for a delicious delivery from Kafe to eat dinner with my neighbours from Norway and filmmaker Sue.

Cool- I am making friends out here and yesterday I met some really wonderful people too.

The day began with a coffee, meeting renowned healer, author, musician and artist Jelila. I came in late because a woman who offered to drive me on the back of her bike was held up at a Sun Moon ceremony. She arrived to pick me up dressed so elegantly from the ceremony in her temple outfit, with no helmet though. When I asked her why she didn’t wear a helmet, she explained she would be protected because she had just come from a ceremony in temple dress so she wouldn’t need a helmet today. Eka invited me to a ceremony with her and as soon as my knee is better I will go. With a dodgy knee I can’t kneel down to pray- she said it would be ok for me to just “look see” but I like to participate in spiritual rituals and not just “look see”.

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That’s a pic of Eka, looking chique after a temple Full Moon ceremony.

Here’s a photo of Jelila with her new book:

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I met Jelila a few years ago out here in Ubud and remember saying at that time how I would like to study crystal healing with her; so it’s funny that I am back here now and that she presented me with a new book she has written called “The Power of Crystals (For Healing and Well-being)” Perfect timing, to reunite and be handed her new book on crystal healing. She also informed me that she will be giving a free workshop once a week on Thursdays at 3pm at Soma Cafe Ubud. In these workshops she will be giving teachings from her new book on crystal healing as well as on her last book “The Gift”, which I have read and can recommend. It’s about the law of attraction and it breaks people down into simple personality types. It’s easy to read and enlightening.

Jelila also had a very pretty necklace for me- a beautiful crystal “Abundance necklace”. I absolutely love her jewellery as it is both healing and pretty. Checkout her website to order your own original healing jewellery and checkout her song “The LAw of Attraction” just allow yourself 20 uninterrupted minutes to lie down and listen to it, it’s kind of like a lullabye a song with a vibrational healing: Jelila: The Law of Attraction

I am really looking forward to studying crystals and healing with Jelila out here and hope to be able to pass on the knowledge and make healing jewellery from locally sourced crystals and stones wherever I may end up after Bali.

I told her about the documentary I am making out here about Sound Healers and asked her to be in it too. It’s proving quite interesting so far as I figure out which are the ideal characters  and personalities to film from Dr. Punnu Wasu to Shervin Boloorian to Jelila, they all have extra talents in healing that extend beyond music and sound- so this project will also be an education for me in many alternative forms of healing. I’m feeling like this may be something for the BBC, CBC or Channel 4 too…

After a catchup and much inspiration in conversation with Jelila I headed to Clear Cafe– one of my favourite restaurants in the world. It’s like a temple, wherin you have to remove your shoes before entering and the interior design, the people and the food are all beautiful and yummy. I was a bit perplexed to be the first to arrive and to be seated at a table that was made from a large slab of natural teak wood that had a large crack in it, meaning someone was not going to be able to put their plate down on the table- anyway after some shuffling about, Bibi  decided she wanted to go shopping and left Danny and I alone for lunch to discuss everything from Shamanism to music to filmmaking.

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Danny is amazing and I am so honoured for the quality time he has given me out here. I asked him how one becomes a Shaman and he told me it begins with learning about and understanding medicinal plants and grows on to incorporate a deep understanding of and connection with the spirit world, acting as  a mediator between earth people and spirits through ritual and ceremony.

I also learnt that Danny was the first real “Travelling Yogi“. As in, he was the first westerner to go around the world teaching people yoga and then being invited to beautiful places to teach workshops, host retreats and tour with rockstars as a shaman and yogi and general wellbeing guru. One thing I love about Danny is how he is anti-guru, seing as he could easily be a guru himself I think it’s pretty interesting that he mostly preaches to find your own inner guru and not follow or hand your power over to any one person or organisation. We discussed how this Guru path could lean towards narcissistic egoism at one inner guru end or dependency and powerlessness at the other end of outer guru worship. He pointed out that all teachers in life exist to teach you how to be your own master. We discussed the importance of virtues such as personal responsibility, accountability and authority all of which he sees as solutions to feeling lost or seeking answers. I told him about my Life coaching thesis entitled “If I took full responsibility for my thoughts, words and actions I would be…” and how challenging it was for me to start writing that thesis as I knew it was the beginning of the end of a lifetimes way of being for me and a dawning of an evolution or a new way of being- out with the old and in with the new.

We talked about music-making and Danny said he has always made socially aware music with a message. He has two albums on itunes, featuring many amazing, well-known and talented guest musicians

Album: Travelers, Magicians and Shamans

Album: River of the Soul

He’s basically just one very cool innovative dude and I told him I’d like to make a fictional movie based on his life story, starring Johnny Depp (if Paradise can get Depp into yogi great shape, or perhaps Paradise can be Depp’s yoga body double?).

He invited me to join a jungle retreat in Thailand in 2014 at a lodge which he was a consultant on the creation and design of. Apparently the whole lodge is floating on a lake- the houses, the yoga deck. It looks and sounds amazing and there are a few spots left too, if you are looking for an amazing yoga retreat experience at the end of January 2014 checkout http://www.dannyparadise.com

I could have stayed on in conversation for years with Danny Paradise but we had at this point munched our way through the veggie love burgers and yam fries (delicious) and Bibi had come back to join us for dessert. She told me about her tie dyed yoga and beachwear Bishaka Tiedyes and showed me some gorgeous pics shot by Danny of her in the clothes.

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After lunch, they invited me to join them for the Birthday party of Manju Pattahbi Jois at a house in Pejang north of Ubud. It turned out to be Ashtanga Yoga Bali the incredible home and yoga studio of Radha and Prem, the Ashtanga teaching couple I had met at the conference and rather stupidly questioned about how strict and austere I found Ashtanga to be. Once again we discussed the possibility of me coming to train in Ashtanga yoga with them for a few weeks, and agreed that as soon as my knee felt better- more flexible and strong, I would start training with them in Ashtanga/Power yoga.

At this point my kneecap was very swollen, like a fluid-filled duck egg. I found a healer to do a massage with some sacred oils on my leg and lo and behold, she got the fluid to move as I spent the evening with my leg up and wrapped in ice and by this morning it was looking more normal again, albeit a purply normal.

Today I hopped on the back of another bike to head up for breakfast with Danny and Bibi. Danny gave me some cds of tunes he has recorded with all sorts of great artists over the years and we shot a video in the gardens of him reciting some of his songs as spoken word poetry, I thought this would be a chance to really hear the lyrics of the songs as spoken word. Bibi stepped in with art direction and chose a pagoda floating on a fish pond for or filming location. The video will be up on youtube soon and I will post it in a future blog. Danny reminded me how lucky I was to get through a bike acident with only swelling, small cuts and bruises- he said it was a warning and that I definitely should not ride my own motorbike out here and I definitely must not take my good health and fit body for granted.

After breakfast and filming I got on the back of another random motorbike and headed to the yoga barn for the weekly ecstatic dance gathering. It’s sort of the new age equivalent of going to church. It’s basically two hours every Sunday of sweating your prayers on the dancefloor. It’s also a chance to make eye contact with most of the local expat community of Ubud. No words are excanged, just dance energy and eye contact. I felt reeaally awkward and very uncool because I couldn’t move properly. I could move my arms and upper body but I couldnt jump and dance around like everyone else, so I just felt kind of self conscious. Becoming aware that it was my ego or my pride that made me feel self conscious about appearing to be very repressed or fearful/not letting go with wild freaky dancing like everyone else was doing. I just decided to rise above my temporary self consciousness and move in a way that felt good for my body and that felt like gratitude for being here, being healthy and being alive; not caring about how I looked to others. It was very surreal to be wildly dancing on the inside and mildly dancing on the outside.

I took my time to slowly walk home through the Monkey Forest afterwards, remembering the Vipassana walking meditation and consciously hinking “lift, push lower” awkward, wobbly, it could be a lot worse and soon very soon it’ll be better. But til then, everything is still great- i am making new friends, I am stepping into my power, I am in paradise and I am taking everything one day at a time.

I have been a bit perturbed about taking on this role of a Conscious Hipster- like if it’s going to be a really Conscious blog, I need to highlight more current events like the typhoon after effects in the Philippines (I have met many people out here who are on their way to do some relief work in the Philippines, HK119 is making artworks as fundraisers for the Phillipines and my friend Max Power from London is heading over there now to start a local radio station). Just read that the British government have sent over £30 Million in aid funds. They need money out there really more then lots of people going over to muck in, I have been told as I contemplated going over there to be of assistance. I was told to send money and nothing else. You too can donate in many ways such as here Philippines Red Cross

And under the full moon, I’d like to put the concept of the Moon Cup out here in the blogosphere- the conscious woman’s choice of dealing with menstruation. A box of tampons out here for example costs $30 whereas the mooncup costs just $20 is reusable, lasts for years and is so much better for the environment.

Maybe I could highlight too that all we need is love. If we could all be a little more compassionate and kind to eachother and express our love, joy, gratitue and appreciation more often so much positive momentum would be in motion.

I like this little film called “The Revolution is love”

Hmmm it’s past my bedtime now. I have been waking up at 6am almost everyday here. I thought it was the jetlag at first, then the sunshine pouring in through my floor-to-ceiling windows, then the cats and kittens miaowing for food. Now it’s just habit. I have officially become a morning person and I’m loving it, also it means that I get tired at night, whereas in London and other big cities I would be awake into the wee hours of the morning often. Here I go to bed early and wake up early and feel great for it. Looking forward to some fresh coconut water tomorrow, I have two coconuts here on the floor ready and waiting or breakfast.

So, from crystal healing with Jelila to Shamanic wisdom, humour and insight from Danny Paradise…rounding off the evening with my Norweigian neighbours, filmmaker Sue and a delicious organic home delivery dinner under the full moon.

Here’s a great blog with a monthly post about full moons Mystic Mama: Taurus Full Moon November 17th 2013

Feeling grateful, icing leg, writing blog, kitten curled up on my heart

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Goodnight

Forced to Pause

Yesterday, I was on the back of a motorbike and the roads were muddy, slippery and wet from a heavy rainfall. As we snaked our way through a side path in the Monkey Forrest, the wheels just spun out and suddenly in what felt like complete slow motion, we tumbled down and sideways to the ground and were just kind of very still for a moment. The driver hopped up and said “I’m bleeding, we need to go to a clinic right now.” I was in shock and not sure if I could move or what had just happened. I slowly got up shaking a bit too and examined the minor cuts and sore spots and got back on the bikewhich required a few attempts to kick start, as we both slightly green in the face wobbled our way on to the closest clinic.

The closest clinic happened to be a very interesting place called Bumi Sehat

Bumi Sehat is a natural birthing clinic and the founder of the clinic has been the recipient of the CNN Heroes Award.

What the bike driver told me is that in Indonesia, many poor women go to a hospital to give birth and if they cannot afford the hospital bill then the hospital will hold on to/keep the baby until the bill is paid- in many cases this can take years. Speedy C-sections are also popular in Indonesian hospitals ad Bumi Sehat offers women the option to have a natural birth in a tranquil setting with love, care and attention. Westerners or tourists using the clinic have to pay and make a donation but Indonesians are invited to Bumi Sehat for free.

There were no agonising noises of women giving birth when we hobbled in cut and bleeding. There was a room with a door open and all I could see were bodies that looked like they had smoking incense sticks all over them…it looked kind of freaky like a cremation but I was assured it was a holistic therapy. Bumi Sehat embraces alternative medicine, homeopathy and ayurveda as well as all the best of what traditional western medicine has to offer.

I told my cutup bike companion about an old friend of mine Melissa Rodrigues who is a doula very much championing the concept of natural births and co-founder of a doula collective called Wood and Water Doulas

We were led into a room to see the nurse who promptly disenfected and then injected the bike drivers knee with some kind of strong pain killer before getting out a thin needle and thread and stiching up the flap of skin that had been sliced off in the fall. I am a qualified first aid nurse but stitches and surgeries always make me squirm. So, I took on the role of chief distractor and led biker woman through some breathing exercise whilst she was injected and stitched up. She screamed a bit as though she were giving birth and then joked how it would be funny if i made a baby screamng crying sound as it would be totally fine and appropriate given that we were in a birthing clinic. It was all expertly done and I mentioned how arnica would be a really good thing for us both to have since we were going to be covered in bruises from the fall. I was really impressed when the nurse produced arnica homeopathic pills and cream. Other then some minor cuts and bruises I looked fine but my knee was starting to swell up since I fell right onto my knee cap- I was told to R.I.C.E it and no that doesnt mean a bag of rice it means: Rest Ice Compress Elevate.

So I came back to my beautiful little home away from home with the slightly shaken post-surgery bike driver and we ate take away vegetarian burritos from Taco Casa. Then I elevated my leg on some pillows and drifted off for a few hours with two or maybe three little kittens curled up on me. They are adorable these little kittens. When I first arrived, one of them was the little runt, smaller then the rest and a bit sickly. She curled up in a ball on my heart, I think she need to hear a heartbeat or something. She is so much better now so it felt like yesterday she was helping me to feel better.

Anyway other then slipping on a bike and resting with my leg in the air feeling a bit down about being “forced to pause” especially as I was just getting pumped up to go surfing and start doing power yoga… In the end, I didn’t do much yesterday.

I have been invited to teach some free community yoga classes on Fridays at The Yoga Barn, which is really exciting as it is probably the most beautiful yoga studio I have ever been too. I have been warned to expect a minimum if 50 people in my class likely many more- there is space for several hundred people… I am really excited to do my thing as a yogi in paradise, to uplift, to inspire, to heal and to empower in the massive world famous Yoga Barn! I just have to heal this knee up fast so I can walk properly again…

Here’s a photo of my Avatar/inner jungle warrior Goddess shot in the Monkey Forrest by Ida Kristine Hogbakk. Someone commented on my hairstyle being a combover– ha I really had to laugh out loud at that comment because 1: it was very funny and 2 it was true (although that comment would be what I know from Neil Strauss as a “Neg”- when a guy puts a girl down to make them feel stupid or insecure”). I am not going to let piss-taking facebook comments rain on my parade. I am intent on laughing more, especially at myself and I am here stepping into my Goddess power (even with a jungle combover) and rocking an earring by Leela Creations with an impromptu jungle warrior combover look…

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Perhaps for 2014 and beyond myself, we will see a revival of the all hair on one side 1980’s look or even the sticky hot sweaty jungle combover.

Now I am on my way to a meeting with Author and healer Jelila, who I met a few years ago. I am going to study and learn more about crystal healing with her out here. I really love listening to her song “the Law of Attraction” as a meditation it’s 20 minutes long so I sometimes just lie down on the floor and close my eyes and listen to this song and remember a feeling of confidence and trust in life, knowing that I have the power to manifest my authentic dreams. Jelila- The Law of Attraction

Here’s a video I made with her a few years ago:

Then after my meeting with Jelila, I am going to have lunch with Yoga master and Shaman Danny Paradise and his girlfriend Bibi. I know that is going to be the most interesting and inspiring lunch I have had in a long time…

I just have to psych myself up to get back on a bike now, because i definitely cannot walk there today…and I really hate being “forced to pause” but maybe that’s exactly what I need to do right now- feel gratitude, as it could have really turned out to be a lot worse, a motorbike crash… and probably what I need to do right now is pause and return to the breath…