Sound Healing Documentary & The Conscious Hipster Collection

I am so inspired by people who allow me to film them- it is a great privlege and also a great way to learn.

I wonder if any potential Executive-Producers out there might be reading this and might also be willing and able to kick off 2014 meeting/pitching with a tv comissioner for the documentary project working title “Sound Healing. I am gathering a lot of footage of the inspiring and colourful characters for a film about modern day healers. In Bali I am focusing mainly on healers working with sound including all of the Bali Sound Healers Collective. I’m also exploring themes like what is life like for a modern day healer who is “in this world but not of it” and looking at alternative new age lifestyles, focusing on some of the shiny souls I am meeting in Ubud, also known as “The New Age Capitol of the world”.

I would love to continue meeting with and filming alternative healers around the world. There are of course so many different types of modern day healers from Reiki Masters to Acupuncturists to Shamans and beyond, I would like to travel, meet, film and learn from them all.

I would also like to manifest Executive Producers to mentor, promote and secure a broadcaster for this project- ideally as a feature length documentary or possibly as a series for the BBC or CBC. I am open to any pointers and suggestions.

Here are a few photo portraits of some of the awesome people that I have been filming with so far out here.

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Shervin Boloorian

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Shervin Boloorian

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Punnu Wasu

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Punnu Wasu

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Larissa Israel

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Fire-Mane Honey-Voice

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Jelila

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Jelila

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Kash Killian

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AwaHoshi

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AwaHoshi

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Baba Ji

In the run up to Christmas and the wrap up of 2013, the only place where it feels vaguely Christmassy here is in Starbucks. I will miss my family and it does feel strange to be on my own out here at this festive, family time of year.

I’m remembering that movie I pitched years ago at Raindance: Live Ammo!…it was for a film I named “Scroogie”- a modern day adaptation of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” but this version revolved around a hard-working single woman who is alone at Christmas and she meets the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. To me this was a commercial, seasonal, rom-com kind of no-brainer-get-the-green-light movie concept with a guaranteed annual audience and replays on cable tv…a Sandra Bullock kind of movie. Anyway it was shot down in the competition for being “too commercial in concept”. Here I am now a bit like Scroogie in my story but I’m happier, hippier and in the tropics so really my life is not at all like “Bah Humbug!” Scroogie…thankfully. But the recapitulation time travel sort of work I am doing out here does echo the concept of past/present/future visions…

For Christmas, I am facilitating the empowering transformative experience of the Oneness cours- this will be my way of giving back for a process that empowered me to do a lot of healing work. I’ll be “holding space” for empowerment and transformations to take place, then I will probably go to the beach and catch some waves for a few days before heading to work as a volunteer running workshops at The Soulshine Festival and then back up to celebrate New Year‘s Eve at The Baliwood Mansion which all sounds very curious and potentially very fun.

I am giving myself the gift of some coaching sessions for xmas via skype with someone I met on a training course we both did in London. She has just finished her studies and has evolved from a brilliant psychologist into a co-active coach. It felt unusual and great to be coached for a change.

In my session, I committed to saying 5 no’s for every yes in order to exercise my “NO muscle”. This is a warning that my answer to your request is likely to be NO for a while. This will be an interesting challenge and will hopefully annihilate any trace of “FOMO-Fear of missing out”.

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I’m also committed to nurturing my femininity, as I realised out here through all the recapitulation, that my “inner masculine” “control freak” has mostly been running the show for years now and that it is a major factor in my feeling anxious, stressed and sometimes burntout. Allowing my masculine energy to run the show as a Producer, Director, Consultant and Coach has built layers of armour and an unsafe feeling around my vulnerability and femininity….

So I am giving time to my inner Goddess every day out in the tropics and am committed to honouring her in some way out here every day…doing things like dancing, singing, listening to my intuition, reading tarot cards, swimming, massages, dressing up…smiling more….

Today my inner Goddess was honoured by Jelila with a surprise gift of a crystal “Goddess Crown” which I love and will continue wearing as much as possible to honour both my inner Goddess and all Goddesses everywhere!

And by the way…here’s some breaking news of an endeavour that totally feels right for me,,, I am launching an online shop which is going to grow and grow in 2014.

The Conscious Hipster Collection will offer holistic, empowerful and pretty fashion and lifestyle accessories all sourced directly from the designers and creators I know or meet along the way on my journey.

“A virtual boutique of conscious chique”

Coming soon…

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Music Mansion, Yoga Barn, Crystal Cave

Yesterday was my busiest, most proactive and consciousness challenging day so far in Bali. I began with a video shoot for Jelila’s song “The Law of Attraction” in a quirky, colourful and beautiful hotel and spa called The Mansion. Not only did they allow us to film in there but they explained how they actively support collaborations and creativity. I told them about my time living at The Gershwin Hotel in NYC as an artist in Residence and explained how they run an inspiring and empowering artist residency programme there. IT sounds like The Mansion are kicking of an artist residency programme soon too beginning with co-creation initiatives and onsite collaborations such as ours. I am also delighted that they were open to and supportive of the “Sound Healing” documentary project I am making and invited me to come back and film more music videos, interviews and performances with other sound healers in and around their amazing Ubud Mansion, swimming pools and gardens. Such a colourful, eccentric and great place, I am very curious about and would love to meet the owners.

We had found a beautiful woman the day before called Katerina at Soma Cafe and Jelila  asked her to be the healee and  babe in the music video- she was totally up for it too. Suddenly the team was expanding and it felt more like creative playtime and improvisation then a professional shoot at The Mansion.

It was inspiring to begin filming there with Jelila. We had been told by the Manager that filming was allowed for 3 hours and I had planned to try Guerilla-style shooting of a music video, an interview and a mini crystal healing session to include in the music video also to get a testimonial feedback with Katerina the model/healee.

Just as we were about to start rolling a guy showed up who also turned out to be an uber creative VJ and cinematographer with his own Canon 5D and he offered to helpout with filming too. Suddenly our team was expanding.

I was anxious about timing also because I was scheduled to teach a free community yoga class at The Yoga Barn later that day and had also pre-arranged to go after that to film a sound healing performance with AwaHoshi at Taksu Spa after the yoga class. It was my first day out here of lining various endeavours up back to back. This is the norm for me back in London and is the lifestyle of juggling that I began to find very stresfull, so this created some anxiety for me, perhaps the memories of always trying to do too much juggling…and not doing any of it well enough, up to scratch, as good as the perfectionist in me would like things to be…

We managed to get through the filming and wrap up our shoot only 90 minutes later then originally planned leaving enough time for us all to be driven home in the pouring rain, for me to make a playlist of pefect songs for my yoga class, to jump in the pool as a cleanse to release the masculine energy of directing a video and welcome in the feminine energy of teaching a yoga class and also to charge the camera batteries.

Here are some photos of our shoot at The Mansion

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It was an amazing location to shoot a video for a beautiful healing song, the performers were brilliant, the crystals were in abundance and even Haidai, who showed up last minute to muck in did a great job.

DSC_0067I did feel a bit torn at times between taking control/masculine//directing/ and holding space for creative playtime/intuitive/feminine/producing. My intention though was and always is to bring out the best in everyone, starting with myself. I was reminded yesterday that there are some important steps I must remember to include- like meditating together as a group to all be on the same frequency before starting (especially important for a Guerilla-style shoot with no shot lists or script).

It’s amazing how a film shoot becomes a whirling tornado of energy and ideas. I am reminded of how bossy and demanding Directors are and also of my deep longing to be a different kind of Director- it’s a battle though and I am not certain that is possible within a time frame- to be a Director who is more focused on bringing out the best in others then on getting the shots in. Jelila was telling me that my attachment to and worry about time and timing would only continue to create problems for me around time. So if I can bring awareness to the fact that that which I worry about will manifest and become worse…then I can focus more on what I want and less on what I do not want and put the law of attraction into action and in a way that supports me rather then works against me…

Urghhh ummmmm ok!?! It gave me a lot more to digest then I had expected. Who would have thought that a film shoot could also become such a great opportunity to learn more about my shadows!?

Anyway, here is a great shot of Jelila and Katerina looking glam in front of the camera.

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As Jelila sang “The Law of Attraction” over and over again and we filmed it all with two cameras in various beautiful locations around the Mansion…I felt a great sense of awe and wonder that the song I have been listening to for years was being performed in an amazing space live in ront of me and that I was filming it all with a cool random team- talk about the alw of subconscious manifestation/attraction in action!

I also unfortunately found myself jumping out of presence at moments and becoming anxious about preparing the music for my yoga class and quietly more irritated and even angry at times that we had another filmmaker jumping in to give direction sometimes too. I guess the words “irritated” and “angry” were emotions coming from my ego- good to realise this but what to do when it happens I had to ask myself…So I kind of started to feel overwhelmed by it all ( the self-awareness on top of trying to get the shoot in the can) and not very grounded or blissedout or confident as my self awareness progressed through the tornado of shooting, rolling rolling- so much energy and so much to get done in a short space of time… I was basically subliminally coaching myself to get over any anxieties or anger and just see how fucking brilliant it all was, us there making great things happen on the fly and shooting from the hip!

Taking a step back to breathe for a moment, come in to presence (not worry about teaching the big yoga class in a few hours or my ego wanting to be in control or my heart wanting everyone to just enjoy the process). So I paused to connect to, assess and express my feelings “I’m feeling angry and I just need to say it so I can let it go thank you.” which gave me a chance to own and then detach from those negative emotions, thankfully this authentic approach is normal communication out here. Being met by Jelila with a simple “ok” in response totally diffused my anger and made me lough out loud at myself also to see anger and irritation as a concoction of my subconscious mind stirring up emotions which were not serving me other then perhaps asking me to change the way I approach film shoots in the future…

It also gave me some clarity that I was definitely going to be affected even behind the camera throughout filming a project about healing. Of course I was going to be receiving healing through this process too, even if I am busy producing and directing, it is still going to affect me energetically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. I am certain that a mix of anger and anxiety were bubbling within me because I had setout an overly ambitious goal for our few hours in The Mansion and I was battling between the perfectionist and the Guerilla filmmaker whilst my subconscious was trying to make me let go of “The plan” to just go with the flow and enjoy the playfulness and enthusiasm and talent that this amazing little team were bringing to the Mansion.

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Anyway…we did it all got everything intended to film that day- I dont really know how but we did film it all!!

The feeback I received from Jelila and Katherina was that the loved the whole experience and found it all very confidence boosting. I still have to sit down with Haidai and see his footage and learn how he found the experience diving into our team without knowing any of us- did he feel welcomed our rejected and what was his intention in being a part of it all? I am sure he is talented, some of the shots I saw looked beautiful and it certainly is unusual for me to work with someone I don’t know at all just like that. Perhaps with some brainstorm time, we will shoot more videos together at the Mansion.

My intention is to empower and to bring out the best in people but I know I have to set my boundaries in order to be able to do that effectively. I was super grateful to have conscious people around, so when I vented and said “I am feeling kind of angry right now and I don’t know what to do about it so I just want to put it out there.”

It made me contemplate the illustrations Jelila had made for her presentation before and how they related to what was happening around me.

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Here’s the Flyer for the “Shadows & Light” Friday 13th 2013 Yoga class I offered to the Community and residents of Ubud for free at The Yoga Barn.

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Here’s the yoga playlist I ceated as a soundtrack for the class. These are songs that I felt really suited the flow I had created for my class and also themeatically that suited the concept of exploring shadows and light. I encouraged everyone to visualise healing light enetering their body and energy field with every inhale and exhale wvisualising releasing mental negativity, emotional and physicial toxicity or an easier way I would describe it as dark matter It has inspired me to put more of my yoga class soundtrack compilations up on mixcloud

Shadows & Light : Yoga Compilation

Teaching was awesome, there were so many people who showed up despite the tropical rain downpour- it seems that everyone does love a free yoga class. It was also interesting to have a class of such mix abilities, from people who were trying yoga for the first time to teachers. I sat for a few moments to meditate and call in the support of my great teachers, all those who loved music and would appreciate my soundtrack too. I asked God, Spirit and the Divinely abundant energy force of unconditional love to assist me with guiding this group safely through an awerness of their internal shadows and light to wherever they each needed to go and as I began to open up and invite all my great teachers to move their wisdom through me- I experienced something very new and very awesome.

Time flew and suddenly we were there with a room full of sweaty happy people lying in Sivasana.

We wrapped up the class and I grabbed the laptop, tripod and camera and raced down to Taksu and down down into the avatar jungles to find and start filming AwaHoshi‘s crystal sound healing vibrational medicine. It was the perfect end to an intense and magical day of living so much of my life passion- collaborating, filmmaking, empowering, teaching yoga, giving and receiving healing, learning, growing setting boundaries, understanding, feeling…

AwaHoshi invited us all to chant for a bit and then to each make offerings to Mother Nature and one by one release the offerings of flower petals down into the river below.

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Taksu is a magical and beautiful setting deep down in the Avatar-like jungle. Once the lights were switched off it was super atmospheric by candlelight but too dark in my opinion to let the camera roll on for 40minutes. After filming some of the candlelit, powerful and atmospheric performance, I too then lay down to receive some healing crystal vibrational medicine. I feel something different each time I experience the resonant healing of the crystal bowls. I love it each time as it always takes me on a deep journey into myself. It was really good and an unexpected emotional release too at the end of such a busy full day I felt tears in my eyes and also felt they were tears of gratitude and healing.

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When I spent some time with Awahoshi at her home, I told her that my intuition saw her playing the crystal bowls on a massive stage and giving healing sounds to thousands of people at a concert beside a famous rocks star/musician. When I asked her who she would most like to do that with she said Peter Gabriel. So, let’s just put that idea out there and see what manifests.

I saw a vision of her performing alongside Bjork and Yoav with a large audience in a circle around them, lying on the foor to receive their sound vibrations, healing and guiding their audience on a journey of empowerment and transformation…

I am actually finishing this blog now in the middle of the night because I have been woken by a cockroach crawling on me whilst I was sleeping. This is thankfully only the second time it has happened but I find it pretty freaky. I switched on the lights to see 2 kittens and one adult cat in here, so why don’t they scare cockroaches away? I suppose the good thing is that it has woken me up to finish writing this blog. 3am now and I would like to go back to sleep and awake rereshed and ready for tomorrow’s Ubud Sunday community ritual of ecstatic dance.

Despite waking up in the middle of the night by a cockroach, I feel am bursting with love and gratitiude and that’s a great feeling. Look forward to sweating my prayers and gratitude on the dancefloor.

I will be doing some filming interviews and performances of sound healers this week but I am going to try and practise presence more then I have been doing out here. I think I will do a blog with highlights of the week rather then a daily drizzle of my own internal working-out of things. Seriously though life is getting so interesting and full of challenges, every time I feel I have figured something out about myself or about life, I am almost immediately tested to see if I will repeat a pattern or choose something new! So I want to try a week of just living with and integrating everything I have been learning and wind down the attachment to people, places, things and writing about or documenting it all….for a week at least.

Goodnight & Goodmorning.

Toning Not Moaning, Crystal Resonance & Coconuts

Yesterday was an unexpectedly and incredibly powerful healing day.

It began with Transformational Breathwork at Radiantly Alive led by Daniel Aaron

This is a seemingly simple yet profoundly insightful and healing journey using only the breath, guided by Daniel to release and to welcome in insights and air.

Daniel was an inspiring guide and created an informative and safe space for a group of strangers to go on a surreal journey side by side. He encouraged us to tone and not moan throughout to release any stuck energy or pain- it was something like strange singing sounds coming out of people all around me. I was pretty caught up with my own process so not paying too much attetion to the others.

Re-birthing breathwork emerged as a form of therapy in the 60’s and 70’s and then evolved into Transformational, Holotropic and Satori breathwork when it became apparent to it’s creators that there was a lot more healing potential trough the breath then just fixing the birth process traumas.

Pretty much any pain or trauma can be shifted through the breath and by sitting in an intentional breathwork practise one can move through painful experiences, literally revisiting and travelling through them, gathering any insight necesarry from the situation in order to release it and move on.

I first encountered Breathwork through my yoga mentor David Sye when we did a one to one breathwork session together, after which I felt like a new person. It felt as though I had done 10 years of therapy in one hour, it was that profound. I didn’t really understand what it was though, all I understood was that I just really felt different energetically and lighter, freer, happier afterwards. In the session I was encouraged to talk about anything I wanted to, like a couch therapy session looking at the ceiling and with every statement I was encouraged to breathe into it, sometimes taking several deep breaths after a revelation which then brought up new insights and so on.

I then came into contact with Satori Breathwork when I randomly entered my name into and won a competition and was invited on a Transformation Vacation by Dawn Delgado and Beau Robb in Bali a few years ago. There I learnt about nutrition, fasting, detox, being in silence and daily practise of breathwork, yoga and meditation. I also learnt to hold space for and support others through their own breathwork process as well as specific ways of holding or laying of hands in a way that reminded me of reiki healing, though done during a breathwork process to assist someone in moving energy through their body and also to provide a feeling of comfort and safety as it can be a really intense and even scary inner journey. I have since practised it with several people, mostly friends who have been emotionally stuck in trauma or playing it out like a broken record story. Most have given me feedback that it has been really helpful as an emotional release and in gaining insight into a stuck pain or emotion. Sometimes it has really wierded people out too- all sorts of reactions to it really but mostly good.

I do my best to create a safe space for whatever may come up and sometimes people really do release demons… at times it has seemed like a new age exorcism is happening in front of me- anything can happen and each time I support the process I also learn something new.

If you are looking for an amazing retreat that will truly transform and empower your own transformation and evolution, as well as a chance to practie and learn Transformational Satori breathwork then I can highly reccommend looking into and booking in to Transformation Vacations.

Yesterdays breathwork circle was interesting, as a workshop we were taught what it is all about and how it works and how it affects people differently, also how most people do not breathe properly. This is a really good moment for me to be held in a breathwork circle, with giving up smoking I am developing a new relationship to breathing.

I had quite the trip on this breathwork journey- it was only 1 hour but I felt as though I were flying through space and time and actually through my entire lifetime. I travelled from childhood memories to adolescence to communicating with family and friends and even dealing with some stuff on the romantic front. Forgiving, thanking, healing, clearing, clearing, clearing and making some internal and energetic space for great people and experiences to show up.

Then I went to the home of AwaHoshi

She is an AMAZING woman, I really admire her and am sure she is a part of my soul family, I felt such a deep and immediate connection to her.

We did some yoga and sat in discussion about the crystal bowls and the healing potential of crystal resonance.

I inquired about the wobbly eye psychadelic experience I had after the last crystal bowl healing session with her and I asked her if anyone had brought up the possibility…the idea that maybe the crystal bowls were capable of releasing DMT from the pineal gland.

I basically concluded that I had been mildly hallucinating from a small amount of DMT being released from my pineal gland,  stimulated by the crystal resonance….a thirdeyegasm!?! She seemed to think this was a possibility too but I was the first to suggest it. Is time for me to write a thesis on crystal healing and it’s relationship to DMT?

This insight was inspired by an article my friend, yoga teacher Shelly Shine shared on facebook The Meaning of The Pineal Gland– Thank you Shelly Shine!

Here are some photos I shot of the beautiful and inspiring AwaHoshi. So far I have done quite a bit of filming with her just being herself and I will begin to do more performance based filming with her this week too. I also have more filming planned with Punnu Wasu Jelila and Shervin Boloorian

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As you can see, we began in daylight and finished at night!

I also got to draw an angel card at the end and I chose this beautiful, awesome Miracle Angel card- bring it on…bring on the miracles, I believe in miracles!

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I was also advised to take a week off from filming, editing and blogging….I guess I have found a lot of comfort always in doing these things, filming, editing and writing and it would really be a good challenge for me to be truly present. Not of service to anyone for a week, not creating or busying or distracting myself.

So next week and for one week, I will stop this routine of filming, editing, blogging. Smoking and drinking are out too…well there is always yoga and meditation and dancing and long walks in the rice fields and visits to holy waters and temples.

It wont be easy for me to give up a routine, technology and being of service one way or another for a week because it’s all a discipline for me, to create a sense of normalcy in an unfamiliar place and it all makes me feel like I am contributing, educating and of value. I will try to stop all of those things and see how true presence feels, see how much do i like myself when i have very little to offer and am truly present in each moment, what is life like then?

It sounds like it will feel very awkward but I hope it will be bliss!

AwaHoshi is performing at Taksu on Friday night in Ubud. I will race over there to film it after teaching a free community yoga class.

Here is the flyer for her Taksu gig. Taksu is an incredible place and I know it will be a magical event!

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Also, one of the best things out here is being delivered a weekly supply of fresh coconuts! Yum- juicy and jelly.

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Anyway I am rushing off now to do a 2 day intensive course in developing intuition with Jana Johnson and Tamara Brown.

Very intrigued and looking forward to it.

To be continued…

A Glass Third Eye

The internet is so slow here by the beach. A sure sign that I will keep my internet time to a minimum so I can focus on these MASSIVE waves and the people riding them at the Bali Surf Jam 2013 Surfer boys and surfer girls are SO cute, I adore their scruffy, quirky, nerdy style and I loved joining this tribe last night to dance like a demon and bop along to a really great live surf rockabilly band called The Deep Sea Explorers Before the band kicked off there was a gathering of all the surfers in front of a big outdoor movies screen and a Russian Emcee spoke loudly over the videos- I think he was discussing suf technique…I don’t speak Russian. I was surprised to see so many Russian surfers and was told it is a relativly new sport for Russians who have only been competing in Surf events for the last 5 years or so… They’ve all certainly got the look and I imagine this trend will just keep expanding and there will be a massive boom in surf looks and sounds coming from Russia. It doesn’t surprise me that so many would want to swap the chilly wintery Russian climate for sunshine and surf.

The vibe is naturally so diffeent here from up in the jungle, it’s much more party party dance dance and it feels good to tune into this surf vibe. The waves here are big, long..it’s the first time in my life I have seen people riding big long tubes/tunnels!

I had to jump into the sea as soon as I got here and the current is seriously strong just even in the shallow waters, I can’t imagine how they navigate the breaks further out. I guess I’ll learn more about how to do that soon.

Yesterday I squeezed in two video shoots for my documentary on Sound Healing

First I filmed what I would call a “holistic” interview or “Satsang” which means deep honest conversation with Christina “Fire-Mane Honey-Voice” Charley.

She is a Goddess, a healer and a really cool woman- it was a great interview.DSC_0164

Then I went to film AwaHoshi giving a talk and crystal bowl healing session. IT is soooo powerful, the resonance of the crystal bowls. I had a really bizarre sort of lucid dream throughout the healing session and was pretty fascinated afterwards about the places my imagination travelled to throughout the healing. She is such a charismatic character too and was open to questions which she responded to honestly and spontaniously- even the questions that came up for people ater the healing session were quite fascinating. After I left the filming and healing session, my head was really buzzing and it felt as though I were wearing what I could only describe as “crystal glasses”. My eyes felt all wobbly and in particular my third eye was rattling, vibrating…it felt really strange. I don’t know what was going on for me but I concluded that perhaps that was my kundalini awakening, my third eye bursting open, psychic abilities awakening or something… A glass third eye rattling fom the resonance of the crystal bowls? I must ask AwaHoshi next time I see her what that was all about. Coincidentally and luckily, I bumped into Dr. Punnu Wasu as I was waiting for the driver to come and take me to the beach, and I told him my head was feeling funny, that it felt like I was wearing crystal glasses and that my glass third eye was rattling or something strange like that (only in a place like Ubud would this shit make any sense to others!). Punnu put his thumb on my third eye and held it there for a few seconds and told me it was pulsing. After a few minutes everything calmed down and I felt grounded again asI climbed into a car on my way to the beach with Alphaville’s “Forever Young” blasting on the radio- I LOVE that song, also as it is the theme song in one of my all time favourite films LEGEND!

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And here’s a photo of the sunset when I arrived at the beach- beautiful!IMG_0005

Now I’m going to get myself sunscreened up and out into the sunshine and surf-yeeeehaw I’ll take some pics of the surfers in the fancy dress “Fun” competition and I’ll track down Tara Lee and Marcus who are the people from Journey Surf the main sponsors of this competition and the reason why I am up here in Balian Beach. Maybe they can sort me out with some board shorts and lend me a surfboard?