Quick post as I have to rush off and shoot a music video in one hour…so maybe actually I’ll stop the morning pages and continue this afternoon, somewhere before the yoga class I am teaching at the The Yoga Barn
I’m partly calling this post Winter because it is winter (even though it doesn’t feel like a normal winter for me being out here in the hot and sweaty tropics). It’s so hard to believe that it will be Cristmas in 10 days! I am so far away from any and all of my loved ones this winter… I trust that I am exactly where I need to and am supposed to be.
I walked into Starbucks the other day (yes there is a Starbucks in Ubud and it has super fast wifi and it fixes my occasional craving for a familiar tasting Grande Vanilla Soy Latte) and in Starbucks this song by Tori Amos came on the speakers blasting me back into the past and into my most emo years when I used to choreograph contemporary dances to her music and perform them at school. I love Tori Amos and this is a beautiful song.
I went over to film the weekly talk that Jelila gives on Thursdays at Soma Cafe.
Upon arrival at Soma Cafe, I found a basket of tarot cards in the entrance on a table so I picked one and got this “Patience” with an image of a girl possibly like me- being patient through the rainy season in Bali?:
Then I filmed the talk about past lives and about Karma. Jelila is great, she always sings a relevantly themed song infused with a healing vibration at the end. The food at Soma is really delicious “high vibration” raw food, so she is a good match for the place.
I like that she creates illustrations for each subject so that kind of works to convey what she is saying too.
We sat and had a little chat after her presentation where she explained some things to me more in depth, interrupted occasionally by people wanting to buy or inquire further into her crystal healing jewellery. Basically Jelila believes that most conflict in this life is due to issues we carry with us from our past lives. I feel this is a bit out there for most people to digest and imagine an interesting debate could happen on wether it’s better to tackle conflicts in this world first or try to heal ancestral wounds and past life issues so that they do not continue to re-occur as unhelpful patterns in this lifetime and beyond.
Also, she explained to me that everything we experience in life is our own creation, every conflict, argument or disappointment is another person acting out one of our subconscious beliefs about ourselves…This is major conceptual stuff for me to digest. The notion that if someone is being an asshole to me, they are in fact acting out a part of me or a belie that I carry about myself? Or that if someone is ignoring me it’s because I don’t believe that I’m worth paying attention too…basically bottom line is that anything coming at me that causes conflict or pain or contraction is of my own creation. Bearing this in mind, I can start to apply The Law of Attraction
The illustrated flip cards she had made for the presentation also inspired me to film a static video of her just flipping through the illustrated large cards and then we discussed doing the interview and also filming her singing a song “The Law of Attraction” for my documentary film the following day.
This bring me to the concept of Win-Win. It is my main life ethos, along with the angle of integrity I have perhaps what I could call “The bubble of WinWin” or “The Ship of Winwin”.
A few years ago it came to me that this was the only way to collaborate with people. I had developed layers of armour from being “screwed over” in one way or another by collaborators or aspects of the film and music industries. I felt very depressed by this and then slowly more certain that there had to be a different way of being and of working, one that wasn’t just about getting my own needs and desires met with a disregard for the needs of others. It kind of became my mission to figure out the concept of “WinWin”. This is an ongoing project too, for as much as I try to only enter Win-Win agreeements, I am often still left feeling undervalued, used or drained…or sometimes the other side feels this. So each collaboration is an opportunity for me to try and get closer to this Utopia of Win-Win collaborations with people.
I am so passionate about the subject of Win-Win that I wrote a mini manifesto about it called “Coolaboration” for NIGHT Magazine. I would also like to write a book about it one day, for now I just want to share this song I wrote about Win-Win a few years ago.
I came back to my house to order a home-cooked food delivery and sit down to give an online/blogging/web design coaching session and then do brainstorm with my neighbour Angelika Hansen
I look forward to reading her blog and also to reading her books.
My inution tells me that there are some movies in those books and perhaps I am the one to Produce and or Direct one of them- likely the book she wrote called Sundance as story of her time spent with the Lakota Indians.