Kundalini Awakening & The High Priestess

Hello again! It’s been interesting to switch up my daily routine recently and I have missed writing my morning blog diary. I also realised though, that the blog writing feeds my neurosis and tendency to over-intellectualise or over-analyze things, so it has been good to take a break from it for a bit. We now have only one day left of 2013- wow how this year has flown by!

The highlights for me in 2013 have been producing and hosting a weekly radio show in London and getting to meet and interview so many inspiring people in wellbeing and creativity. Also a highlight was completing my writing/directing debut fiction feature film and getting to spend some quality time in California on a beautiful ranch, riding horses and editing the movie with Mark Lemmon aka VJ Lemmontage. Really excited to “give birth” to that film and get it out into the world in 2014 also very happy that the British Film Council have taken the project “under their wings” so will be presenting it to some great film festivals on our behalf- phew! This also means I can focus my attention on the documentary I am currently rolling out here on “Sound Healing”.

Anyway…. a roundup of what I have been up to and most inspired by since my last blog diary…

Over Christmas I  “facilitated” and “held space” for the Oneness course led by Dr. Punnu Wasu.

Dr. Punnu Wasu is an amazing, inspiring and charismatic teacher and I took on the role of sitting, supporting and sending out loving vibes to everyone as the journeyed back to their pasts and healed relationships with their inner child, with their parents, with their exes and did other very significant healing work as well as learning all sorts of life philosophies to guide and assist in living consciously “free from the suffering of the mind”.

Here are some videos I made to communicate what the Oneness course is about and also to point a “Lovebeam” towards Punnu who has been a great teacher and friend to me out here.

Of course I didn’t just sit there floating and smiling as a faciitator and space holder (although it did feel like one very long extended meditation for me at times to sit and listen and send good vibes to all on their journey for 14 hours or more a day). I also had to do a lot of personal assisttant things, errands like searching for microphones and amps and stacking metal chairs in silence and ensuring there was always paper and pens and making trips up and down in the pouring rain to get things and answering questions when they came up and reassuring people that all was well at times of need.

Luckily I had my ful length rain parka which looks like a giant tent- it made going out in the rain kind of fun. I wore white the whole time and I acessorised with my crystal cords by Jelila, wrapped around my head. I had this image in my head of an archetype I felt to embody in my role as facilitator, it was the Empress from the Never-Ending Story!

urlAlthough on the final day after being in mostly silence throughout, I decided to speak up and do some sharing to show that I am in fact real and not some kind of perfect never-ending story empress, I wanted to share and show my humanity and my flaws and some of the pain I have experienced along the way which sparked a longing in me to live a more conscious life.

It was a wonderful way to spend my Christmas, by empowering others- especially as for me Christmas is a time of giving… and it was delicious to end with a Christmas feast all together at midnight on Christmas eve.

The next day I headed up to the Tjampuhan Spa with Anne my co-facilitator. She is an elvin angel from Finland and we spent a blissful afternoon floating in the natural spring waters and taking in the steam room and saunas there.

Yesterday I began my day early with Laya Yoga led by Uma who is a very well known and famous yoga teacher here in Ubud. It was unlike any yoga class I have done before and it even came with a sort of guidline or warning sign outside the studio!

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In this yoga class we moved through all 7 “doors” to open the chakras. It was the most sexual yoga class I have ever experienced- literally being told to “breathe all the way down and into your anus” or breath up and into the g-spot”! This class was all about cultivating  life force sexual energy. It almost seemed like some people were close to orgasming in the class too…the sounds the were making and the way they were shaking….I tried hard not to pay attention to what was going on for other people in the room but I definitely felt a sort of awakening of sexual energy in myself, as I have been mostly focused on the upper chakras undoing the mental clutter in my brain and awakening a heart centered loving spiritual energy since getting out here. It was interesting to connect to the lower chakras in a massive circle of others doing the same..in a yoga class. At times I felt very self conscious or aware of other people and then I coached myself to get over that and focus on myself, my physical experience and make it a spiritual one- cultivating amazing energy to carry with me through the day. This is definitely a great way to start the day, if not actually having juicy tantric sex then doing kundalini yoga. It is advanced yoga and it would be hilarious to see it introduced to the western spa style yoga studios in London and Vancouver where I often practise. The closest thing to this type of yoga class that I have experienced before was David Sye’s Yogabeats although his yoga classes are not so overtly sexual and don’t focus on awareness of and moving through the chakras, they definitely stir up the sexual kundalini.

It was interesting to see the effect that had on my energy as I left the Yoga barn floating in a state of orgasmic bliss and headed on to Soma to say goodbye to Harmony Polo who was only in town for 24hours on her way back from a very intensive 40 day deepening and advanced teacher training course at The Oneness University and on her way to study sound healing in Hawaii. I arrived at Soma buzzing and sat down at a table and picked a few of the Little Wing cards. I got these three for a quick reading that tell a story of past, present and future. I analysed that I must connect to and speak my truth, I must accept that this is a period of working on myself and that great adventure are ahead for me- cool!

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A gorgeous musical surfer looking guy called Nick Walliki was sitting at our table as was Toby who also facilitated the Oneness course and another cool and exccentirc man who told me he was the owner of “The Most Amazing Chocolate Factory” for real! He showed me some photos of this rainbow colourful chocolate factory he built in New Zealand and it seemed as though was the real life Willy Wonka- surreal!. Nick Wallaki brought out a guitar and started singing and rapping in English and Indonesian Bahasa and singing a cover of a Michael Franti song. He blew me and everyone else in the cafe away with his spontanious talent shining through, he was amazing. Afterwards, he explained that it was sort of a rehearsal for his gig later at The Soulshine Festival. I predict big things a g’wan for Nick Wallaki in 2014!

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I then met up with Anne and hopped on the back of her motorbike to make a pilgrimage to meet the High Priestess of Bali whose story is very interesting, mostly because she is the only woman who has ever been made a priest in Bali! The legend is that after suffering with depression for years she had an epiphany, a vision that she must become a priest and deliver blessings to relieve the suffering of others. It is very unusual that a woman would be granted permission to carry out the activities of a priest but her alling was so strong and her comittment to helping others in this way so strong that they gave her blessings and teachings in becoming a priest. In n the western world, this is often referred to as “The Wounded Healer”, the theory being that out of surviving great pain comes the knowledge and the ability to relieve the suffering of others. She is a Goddess High Priestess and she was really kind and lovely, it was very cool to meet with her.

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She instructed us to sit in silence and meditate and then at one point did what I can ony describe as “Shaktipat” meaning awakening touch by pummeling up and down my spine and then asking me to chant and tone specific sounds. It got even more surreal when the sounds I was making kind of took on a life of their own and got REALLY loud reverbing around me alos because Anne and IDa the High Priestess were chanting and toning too so it was the most unearthly and beautiful chorus of song that I wish I had recorded. Some things are just for experiencing in real life I guess!

In those 3 or more hours that I sat still to meditate, my mind floated to the last year and to everything I am grateful for, to everyone who has been a magical and important part of my life this year and beyond. I sent loving and healing thoughts out to loved ones to family, to friends and to exes. I brought to the surface of my awareness any negative habits or situations or people I wanted to let go of. I also put some time into visualising the type of life I want to live and the family I would like to have…

We were then invited into a bigger temple to take part in a water purification ceremony. There was an incredibly beautiful family that appeared to join us for the water purification ceremony, a very pregnant supermodel mum, her gorgeous surfer looking husband and their two adorable little girls. I felt this was a good omen.

 The ceremony involved Ida sitting on an altar praying and chanting and throwing flowers and holy water at us and then we were invited one by one to have flower petals thrown and water poured over our heads whilst singing and toning and stamping my feet. I was kind of choking at first not knowing when to breath with the constant stream of water pouring over my head and face. At one point it sounded like she asked me to “make a noise like you are swimming” i was feeling disoriented by the experience and confused by this, so I nearly started blowing raspberries but then quickly realised she meant singing not swimming…DOH! I let out some of the very loud unearthly almost alien toning sounds we had been “rehearsing” with her earlier in the meditation”.

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To have holy water poured all over me was a beautiful sensual and spiritual experience. It was also literally a chance to receive divine blessings an to “wash away any pain”…

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It really was an amazing day, from beginning to end I loved every magical moment of this day.

It ended with a curry at Little India, where I signed up for some private cooking classes with the chef there as a pro-active way to kickstart 2014, because the food was SO delicious and the place was SO cute!

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Sound Healing Documentary & The Conscious Hipster Collection

I am so inspired by people who allow me to film them- it is a great privlege and also a great way to learn.

I wonder if any potential Executive-Producers out there might be reading this and might also be willing and able to kick off 2014 meeting/pitching with a tv comissioner for the documentary project working title “Sound Healing. I am gathering a lot of footage of the inspiring and colourful characters for a film about modern day healers. In Bali I am focusing mainly on healers working with sound including all of the Bali Sound Healers Collective. I’m also exploring themes like what is life like for a modern day healer who is “in this world but not of it” and looking at alternative new age lifestyles, focusing on some of the shiny souls I am meeting in Ubud, also known as “The New Age Capitol of the world”.

I would love to continue meeting with and filming alternative healers around the world. There are of course so many different types of modern day healers from Reiki Masters to Acupuncturists to Shamans and beyond, I would like to travel, meet, film and learn from them all.

I would also like to manifest Executive Producers to mentor, promote and secure a broadcaster for this project- ideally as a feature length documentary or possibly as a series for the BBC or CBC. I am open to any pointers and suggestions.

Here are a few photo portraits of some of the awesome people that I have been filming with so far out here.

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Shervin Boloorian

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Shervin Boloorian

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Punnu Wasu

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Punnu Wasu

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Larissa Israel

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Fire-Mane Honey-Voice

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Jelila

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Kash Killian

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AwaHoshi

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Baba Ji

In the run up to Christmas and the wrap up of 2013, the only place where it feels vaguely Christmassy here is in Starbucks. I will miss my family and it does feel strange to be on my own out here at this festive, family time of year.

I’m remembering that movie I pitched years ago at Raindance: Live Ammo!…it was for a film I named “Scroogie”- a modern day adaptation of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” but this version revolved around a hard-working single woman who is alone at Christmas and she meets the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. To me this was a commercial, seasonal, rom-com kind of no-brainer-get-the-green-light movie concept with a guaranteed annual audience and replays on cable tv…a Sandra Bullock kind of movie. Anyway it was shot down in the competition for being “too commercial in concept”. Here I am now a bit like Scroogie in my story but I’m happier, hippier and in the tropics so really my life is not at all like “Bah Humbug!” Scroogie…thankfully. But the recapitulation time travel sort of work I am doing out here does echo the concept of past/present/future visions…

For Christmas, I am facilitating the empowering transformative experience of the Oneness cours- this will be my way of giving back for a process that empowered me to do a lot of healing work. I’ll be “holding space” for empowerment and transformations to take place, then I will probably go to the beach and catch some waves for a few days before heading to work as a volunteer running workshops at The Soulshine Festival and then back up to celebrate New Year‘s Eve at The Baliwood Mansion which all sounds very curious and potentially very fun.

I am giving myself the gift of some coaching sessions for xmas via skype with someone I met on a training course we both did in London. She has just finished her studies and has evolved from a brilliant psychologist into a co-active coach. It felt unusual and great to be coached for a change.

In my session, I committed to saying 5 no’s for every yes in order to exercise my “NO muscle”. This is a warning that my answer to your request is likely to be NO for a while. This will be an interesting challenge and will hopefully annihilate any trace of “FOMO-Fear of missing out”.

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I’m also committed to nurturing my femininity, as I realised out here through all the recapitulation, that my “inner masculine” “control freak” has mostly been running the show for years now and that it is a major factor in my feeling anxious, stressed and sometimes burntout. Allowing my masculine energy to run the show as a Producer, Director, Consultant and Coach has built layers of armour and an unsafe feeling around my vulnerability and femininity….

So I am giving time to my inner Goddess every day out in the tropics and am committed to honouring her in some way out here every day…doing things like dancing, singing, listening to my intuition, reading tarot cards, swimming, massages, dressing up…smiling more….

Today my inner Goddess was honoured by Jelila with a surprise gift of a crystal “Goddess Crown” which I love and will continue wearing as much as possible to honour both my inner Goddess and all Goddesses everywhere!

And by the way…here’s some breaking news of an endeavour that totally feels right for me,,, I am launching an online shop which is going to grow and grow in 2014.

The Conscious Hipster Collection will offer holistic, empowerful and pretty fashion and lifestyle accessories all sourced directly from the designers and creators I know or meet along the way on my journey.

“A virtual boutique of conscious chique”

Coming soon…

Music Mansion, Yoga Barn, Crystal Cave

Yesterday was my busiest, most proactive and consciousness challenging day so far in Bali. I began with a video shoot for Jelila’s song “The Law of Attraction” in a quirky, colourful and beautiful hotel and spa called The Mansion. Not only did they allow us to film in there but they explained how they actively support collaborations and creativity. I told them about my time living at The Gershwin Hotel in NYC as an artist in Residence and explained how they run an inspiring and empowering artist residency programme there. IT sounds like The Mansion are kicking of an artist residency programme soon too beginning with co-creation initiatives and onsite collaborations such as ours. I am also delighted that they were open to and supportive of the “Sound Healing” documentary project I am making and invited me to come back and film more music videos, interviews and performances with other sound healers in and around their amazing Ubud Mansion, swimming pools and gardens. Such a colourful, eccentric and great place, I am very curious about and would love to meet the owners.

We had found a beautiful woman the day before called Katerina at Soma Cafe and Jelila  asked her to be the healee and  babe in the music video- she was totally up for it too. Suddenly the team was expanding and it felt more like creative playtime and improvisation then a professional shoot at The Mansion.

It was inspiring to begin filming there with Jelila. We had been told by the Manager that filming was allowed for 3 hours and I had planned to try Guerilla-style shooting of a music video, an interview and a mini crystal healing session to include in the music video also to get a testimonial feedback with Katerina the model/healee.

Just as we were about to start rolling a guy showed up who also turned out to be an uber creative VJ and cinematographer with his own Canon 5D and he offered to helpout with filming too. Suddenly our team was expanding.

I was anxious about timing also because I was scheduled to teach a free community yoga class at The Yoga Barn later that day and had also pre-arranged to go after that to film a sound healing performance with AwaHoshi at Taksu Spa after the yoga class. It was my first day out here of lining various endeavours up back to back. This is the norm for me back in London and is the lifestyle of juggling that I began to find very stresfull, so this created some anxiety for me, perhaps the memories of always trying to do too much juggling…and not doing any of it well enough, up to scratch, as good as the perfectionist in me would like things to be…

We managed to get through the filming and wrap up our shoot only 90 minutes later then originally planned leaving enough time for us all to be driven home in the pouring rain, for me to make a playlist of pefect songs for my yoga class, to jump in the pool as a cleanse to release the masculine energy of directing a video and welcome in the feminine energy of teaching a yoga class and also to charge the camera batteries.

Here are some photos of our shoot at The Mansion

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It was an amazing location to shoot a video for a beautiful healing song, the performers were brilliant, the crystals were in abundance and even Haidai, who showed up last minute to muck in did a great job.

DSC_0067I did feel a bit torn at times between taking control/masculine//directing/ and holding space for creative playtime/intuitive/feminine/producing. My intention though was and always is to bring out the best in everyone, starting with myself. I was reminded yesterday that there are some important steps I must remember to include- like meditating together as a group to all be on the same frequency before starting (especially important for a Guerilla-style shoot with no shot lists or script).

It’s amazing how a film shoot becomes a whirling tornado of energy and ideas. I am reminded of how bossy and demanding Directors are and also of my deep longing to be a different kind of Director- it’s a battle though and I am not certain that is possible within a time frame- to be a Director who is more focused on bringing out the best in others then on getting the shots in. Jelila was telling me that my attachment to and worry about time and timing would only continue to create problems for me around time. So if I can bring awareness to the fact that that which I worry about will manifest and become worse…then I can focus more on what I want and less on what I do not want and put the law of attraction into action and in a way that supports me rather then works against me…

Urghhh ummmmm ok!?! It gave me a lot more to digest then I had expected. Who would have thought that a film shoot could also become such a great opportunity to learn more about my shadows!?

Anyway, here is a great shot of Jelila and Katerina looking glam in front of the camera.

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As Jelila sang “The Law of Attraction” over and over again and we filmed it all with two cameras in various beautiful locations around the Mansion…I felt a great sense of awe and wonder that the song I have been listening to for years was being performed in an amazing space live in ront of me and that I was filming it all with a cool random team- talk about the alw of subconscious manifestation/attraction in action!

I also unfortunately found myself jumping out of presence at moments and becoming anxious about preparing the music for my yoga class and quietly more irritated and even angry at times that we had another filmmaker jumping in to give direction sometimes too. I guess the words “irritated” and “angry” were emotions coming from my ego- good to realise this but what to do when it happens I had to ask myself…So I kind of started to feel overwhelmed by it all ( the self-awareness on top of trying to get the shoot in the can) and not very grounded or blissedout or confident as my self awareness progressed through the tornado of shooting, rolling rolling- so much energy and so much to get done in a short space of time… I was basically subliminally coaching myself to get over any anxieties or anger and just see how fucking brilliant it all was, us there making great things happen on the fly and shooting from the hip!

Taking a step back to breathe for a moment, come in to presence (not worry about teaching the big yoga class in a few hours or my ego wanting to be in control or my heart wanting everyone to just enjoy the process). So I paused to connect to, assess and express my feelings “I’m feeling angry and I just need to say it so I can let it go thank you.” which gave me a chance to own and then detach from those negative emotions, thankfully this authentic approach is normal communication out here. Being met by Jelila with a simple “ok” in response totally diffused my anger and made me lough out loud at myself also to see anger and irritation as a concoction of my subconscious mind stirring up emotions which were not serving me other then perhaps asking me to change the way I approach film shoots in the future…

It also gave me some clarity that I was definitely going to be affected even behind the camera throughout filming a project about healing. Of course I was going to be receiving healing through this process too, even if I am busy producing and directing, it is still going to affect me energetically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. I am certain that a mix of anger and anxiety were bubbling within me because I had setout an overly ambitious goal for our few hours in The Mansion and I was battling between the perfectionist and the Guerilla filmmaker whilst my subconscious was trying to make me let go of “The plan” to just go with the flow and enjoy the playfulness and enthusiasm and talent that this amazing little team were bringing to the Mansion.

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Anyway…we did it all got everything intended to film that day- I dont really know how but we did film it all!!

The feeback I received from Jelila and Katherina was that the loved the whole experience and found it all very confidence boosting. I still have to sit down with Haidai and see his footage and learn how he found the experience diving into our team without knowing any of us- did he feel welcomed our rejected and what was his intention in being a part of it all? I am sure he is talented, some of the shots I saw looked beautiful and it certainly is unusual for me to work with someone I don’t know at all just like that. Perhaps with some brainstorm time, we will shoot more videos together at the Mansion.

My intention is to empower and to bring out the best in people but I know I have to set my boundaries in order to be able to do that effectively. I was super grateful to have conscious people around, so when I vented and said “I am feeling kind of angry right now and I don’t know what to do about it so I just want to put it out there.”

It made me contemplate the illustrations Jelila had made for her presentation before and how they related to what was happening around me.

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Here’s the Flyer for the “Shadows & Light” Friday 13th 2013 Yoga class I offered to the Community and residents of Ubud for free at The Yoga Barn.

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Here’s the yoga playlist I ceated as a soundtrack for the class. These are songs that I felt really suited the flow I had created for my class and also themeatically that suited the concept of exploring shadows and light. I encouraged everyone to visualise healing light enetering their body and energy field with every inhale and exhale wvisualising releasing mental negativity, emotional and physicial toxicity or an easier way I would describe it as dark matter It has inspired me to put more of my yoga class soundtrack compilations up on mixcloud

Shadows & Light : Yoga Compilation

Teaching was awesome, there were so many people who showed up despite the tropical rain downpour- it seems that everyone does love a free yoga class. It was also interesting to have a class of such mix abilities, from people who were trying yoga for the first time to teachers. I sat for a few moments to meditate and call in the support of my great teachers, all those who loved music and would appreciate my soundtrack too. I asked God, Spirit and the Divinely abundant energy force of unconditional love to assist me with guiding this group safely through an awerness of their internal shadows and light to wherever they each needed to go and as I began to open up and invite all my great teachers to move their wisdom through me- I experienced something very new and very awesome.

Time flew and suddenly we were there with a room full of sweaty happy people lying in Sivasana.

We wrapped up the class and I grabbed the laptop, tripod and camera and raced down to Taksu and down down into the avatar jungles to find and start filming AwaHoshi‘s crystal sound healing vibrational medicine. It was the perfect end to an intense and magical day of living so much of my life passion- collaborating, filmmaking, empowering, teaching yoga, giving and receiving healing, learning, growing setting boundaries, understanding, feeling…

AwaHoshi invited us all to chant for a bit and then to each make offerings to Mother Nature and one by one release the offerings of flower petals down into the river below.

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Taksu is a magical and beautiful setting deep down in the Avatar-like jungle. Once the lights were switched off it was super atmospheric by candlelight but too dark in my opinion to let the camera roll on for 40minutes. After filming some of the candlelit, powerful and atmospheric performance, I too then lay down to receive some healing crystal vibrational medicine. I feel something different each time I experience the resonant healing of the crystal bowls. I love it each time as it always takes me on a deep journey into myself. It was really good and an unexpected emotional release too at the end of such a busy full day I felt tears in my eyes and also felt they were tears of gratitude and healing.

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When I spent some time with Awahoshi at her home, I told her that my intuition saw her playing the crystal bowls on a massive stage and giving healing sounds to thousands of people at a concert beside a famous rocks star/musician. When I asked her who she would most like to do that with she said Peter Gabriel. So, let’s just put that idea out there and see what manifests.

I saw a vision of her performing alongside Bjork and Yoav with a large audience in a circle around them, lying on the foor to receive their sound vibrations, healing and guiding their audience on a journey of empowerment and transformation…

I am actually finishing this blog now in the middle of the night because I have been woken by a cockroach crawling on me whilst I was sleeping. This is thankfully only the second time it has happened but I find it pretty freaky. I switched on the lights to see 2 kittens and one adult cat in here, so why don’t they scare cockroaches away? I suppose the good thing is that it has woken me up to finish writing this blog. 3am now and I would like to go back to sleep and awake rereshed and ready for tomorrow’s Ubud Sunday community ritual of ecstatic dance.

Despite waking up in the middle of the night by a cockroach, I feel am bursting with love and gratitiude and that’s a great feeling. Look forward to sweating my prayers and gratitude on the dancefloor.

I will be doing some filming interviews and performances of sound healers this week but I am going to try and practise presence more then I have been doing out here. I think I will do a blog with highlights of the week rather then a daily drizzle of my own internal working-out of things. Seriously though life is getting so interesting and full of challenges, every time I feel I have figured something out about myself or about life, I am almost immediately tested to see if I will repeat a pattern or choose something new! So I want to try a week of just living with and integrating everything I have been learning and wind down the attachment to people, places, things and writing about or documenting it all….for a week at least.

Goodnight & Goodmorning.

Winter, Karma Mirrors & Win-Win

Quick post as I have to rush off and shoot a music video in one hour…so maybe actually I’ll stop the morning pages and continue this afternoon, somewhere before the yoga class I am teaching at the The Yoga Barn

I’m partly calling this post Winter because it is winter (even though it doesn’t feel like a normal winter for me being out here in the hot and sweaty tropics). It’s so hard to believe that it will be Cristmas in 10 days! I am so far away from any and all of my loved ones this winter… I trust that I am exactly where I need to and am supposed to be.

I walked into Starbucks the other day (yes there is a Starbucks in Ubud and it has super fast wifi and it fixes my occasional craving for a familiar tasting Grande Vanilla Soy Latte) and in Starbucks this song by Tori Amos came on the speakers blasting me back into the past and into my most emo years when I used to choreograph contemporary dances to her music and perform them at school. I love Tori Amos and this is a beautiful song.

I went over to film the  weekly talk that Jelila gives on Thursdays at Soma Cafe.

Upon arrival at Soma Cafe, I found a basket of tarot cards in the entrance on a table so I picked one and got this “Patience” with an image of a girl possibly like me- being patient through the rainy season in Bali?:

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Then I filmed the talk about past lives and about Karma. Jelila is great, she always sings a relevantly themed song infused with a healing vibration at the end. The food at Soma is really delicious “high vibration” raw food, so she is a good match for the place.

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I like that she creates illustrations for each subject so that kind of works to convey what she is saying too.

We sat and had a little chat after her presentation where she explained some things to me more in depth, interrupted occasionally by people wanting to buy or inquire further into her crystal healing jewellery. Basically Jelila believes that most conflict in this life is due to issues we carry with us from our past lives. I feel this is a bit out there for most people to digest and imagine an interesting debate could happen on wether it’s better to tackle conflicts in this world first or try to heal ancestral wounds and past life issues so that they do not continue to re-occur as unhelpful patterns in this lifetime and beyond.

Also, she explained to me that everything we experience in life is our own creation, every conflict, argument or disappointment is another person acting out one of our subconscious beliefs about ourselves…This is major conceptual stuff for me to digest. The notion that if someone is being an asshole to me, they are in fact acting out a part of me or a belie that I carry about myself? Or that if someone is ignoring me it’s because I don’t believe that I’m worth paying attention too…basically bottom line is that anything coming at me that causes conflict or pain or contraction is of my own creation. Bearing this in mind, I can start to apply The Law of Attraction

The illustrated flip cards she had made for the presentation also inspired me to film a static video of her just flipping through the illustrated large cards and then we discussed doing the interview and also filming her singing a song “The Law of Attraction” for my documentary film the following day.

This bring me to the concept of Win-Win. It is my main life ethos, along with the angle of integrity I have perhaps what I could call “The bubble of WinWin” or “The Ship of Winwin”.

A few years ago it came to me that this was the only way to collaborate with people. I had developed layers of armour from being “screwed over” in one way or another by collaborators or aspects of the film and music industries. I felt very depressed by this and then slowly more certain that there had to be a different way of being and of working, one that wasn’t just about getting my own needs and desires met with a disregard for the needs of others. It kind of became my mission to figure out the concept of “WinWin”. This is an ongoing project too, for as much as I try to only enter Win-Win agreeements, I am often still left feeling undervalued, used or drained…or sometimes the other side feels this. So each collaboration is an opportunity for me to try and get closer to this Utopia of Win-Win collaborations with people.

I am so passionate about the subject of Win-Win that I wrote a mini manifesto about it called “Coolaboration” for NIGHT Magazine. I would also like to write a book about it one day, for now I just want to share this song I wrote about Win-Win a few years ago.

I came back to my house to order a home-cooked food delivery and sit down to give an online/blogging/web design coaching session and then do brainstorm with my neighbour Angelika Hansen

I look forward to reading her blog and also to reading her books.

My inution tells me that there are some movies in those books and perhaps I am the one to Produce and or Direct one of them- likely the book she wrote called Sundance as story of her time spent with the Lakota Indians.

Show & Tell

Today I am going to try and show more then tell. I have some great photos from yesterday and I will let the photos speak a thousand words for me…

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Ginger Bear is the most adorable little kitten and she is becoming my best friend out here. There are many other cats that I have to feed and love as part of the deal in the nice house with pool that I am staying in, but this little one is definitely my favourite.

Balinese-style construction work begins outside my house at 7am- they work very hard.IMG_0001 IMG_0040

I tryout my new superfood supplement MANA

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I sit down to write my blog review of day two on the intuition course and it takes way longer then 30minutes because the tarot card reading means I feel a need to tackle the subjects of Good vs Evil, Faith vs Logic, Masculine vs Feminine- it all trigger zillions of words to pour out of me.

I get a message from Dr. Punnu Wasu asking if I would like to go jump into a waterfall. I say I am writing but can get there in about an hour. I am delighted to be invited to jump into waterfalls with Punnu & Friends.

I scan, edit and then delete the long rant I have written for my blog about theology and religion and dark vs light and the meaning and importance of spirituality…I take off to cleanse my psyche and soul in a waterfall.

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I find someone who is willing and able to take me there on the back of his motorbike but I arrive a bit late and by now sky is grey, the weather is turning and it feels like a storm is about to break out.

Punnu & friends are leaving/on their way out but he kindly gives me some offerings and explains the rituals involved, first showering to purify then singing as I walk to the base of the waterfall, then lighting the incense and presenting the offerings, then praying, then swimming diagonally across the river, then moving along the rocks to get directly behind the waterfall, then sitting behind the waterfall to meditate, pray, chant and sing…

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After lighting some incense and sending out love and blessings to many, I then sink into ,y own prayers and wishes.

Two mating bugs appear out of nowhere and scuttle around stuck together. I feel this is a sign that the universe really does have a sense of humor and I wonder what kind of insects they are?

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I then prepare to cross the river but decide not to strip down to my bikini, as I am the only non Balinese person at this sacred site and it can be considered very offensive, these tourists getting their kit off. So I swim awkwardly across the river with my rubber shoes, my clothes on and my backpack on my head. I hide my backpack in the bushes on the other side so that nobody will steal it. I feel a bit bad about my mistrust but it has my wallet, cards, money, keys and phone in it and my trip would be a bundle of stress if the backpack were taken, so I chose to be safe and self-sufficient instead of laissez-faire. I then swim up river a bit more and snake my way along the slippery slidey rocks to get behind the waterfall. The mist from the fall and the thunderous sounds of the splash echo powerfully through the caves. I sit still, I meditate, I sing and I scream a bit. The thunder of the falls drown out my sounds, it is beautiful and magical. After a while- 1 or 2 hours, a fisherman appears and in very broken english asks me if I want company and offers to do his fishing beside me from behind the waterfall. I am a bit creeped out by this intrusion and say “No thank you, I am meditating”. I am sure he feels he is being nice to the woman who has swum across the river and climbed behind the waterfall on her own, but I decide it’s time for me to leave. Too bad, I could have stayed there for a lot longer. When I get back to the house, I run a hot bath with salts and learn that at exactly the same time as I was meditating behind the waterfall, a mini tornado broke out in Denpasaar which is an hour away from Ubud and only 2km from the airport. It shredded up a few houses but nobody died. I feel blessed for the safety of the waterfalls. It was a powerful meditation experience all the more so because I went through the ritual alone. I felt wild and brave and pure and strong and I feel protected and lucky that the tornado did not come my way.6198_170367326505689_160850445_n

In the evening I went along with my neighbour Angelika Hansen to attend the most beautiful “Sound Medicine Night” Sound Healing Concert PRoduced by Shervin Boloorian at The Yoga Barn. I didn’t film it, I don’t like to film gigs in the dark. I just experienced it, just lay down to receive some healing sound vibrations. It was really magical and I went on a gentle and far away journey around the world with it. Thank you very much to all The Bali Sound Healers CollectiveIMG_0002

Psychic School, Shadows & Ananda Mandala

Day two of Psychic School on the Intuition 101 course with Jana Johnson and Tamara Brown. I have already received interesting feedback from my last post and am pleasantly surprisd by the people who have made contatc with me in response, to tell of their own experiences in life with clarvoyancy. I love that intuition is inherently within us all and that it is possible for everyone to attune to it better with practise and intention. Why are we not taught the language of our intuition and 6th sense as a life skill in school? This brings me back to a lecture I gave during my Life Coach training about a programme I would introduce to university students called “life skills” in which you could attend weekly lectures and learn about all sorts of things such as meditation, non-violent communication, intuition, the law of attraction, nutrition and many other things that I personally have only learnt about in adult life through trial and error or through signing up to courses to learn about this stuff. I am eternally grateful to all the amazing teachers I have learnt from along the way in the school of life too.

So, day two of the course and it began with us splitting up into twos and doing flash readings, paying attention to what we experienced in our own bodies when the other was telling a story about something that was on their mind. We gave intuitive feedback to eachother and I guess that was a practise of listening to our intuition and sharing it if the other person is open, because of coourse we can’t go around telling people wat we sense as if it is accurate or the truth and without asking for their permission first tat would jus be creepy and invasive. It is mostly just a hunch but apparently the more we attune to these hunches, the better we get at it.

We also learnt about Kinesiology and the body’s knowledge and ability to give quick yes or no answers, if we understand how and are able to hear what it is saying.

We learnt other helpful methods and tools for accessing intuition including working with D.I.Y pendulums and some people seemed to work better with them then others, again asking yes or no questions.

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And we did some card readings.

One of the notes I jotted down in my notebook was this

I remember “That time when Carrie Fischer read my tarot cards…” and I thought about including that note here in this blog and I thought about how funny and surreal that experience was, to meet her at a party and for her to offer to do a tarot card reading for me.

So we all picked some cards from two beautiful decksIMG_0024

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The first one I drew freaked me out enough for me to freak everyone else out with a loud yelp and gave me goosebumps. I felt terrified by this card and such a resistance to it because I have always understood that God is pure unconditional love and that the Devil is  his evil nemesis…

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I read the symbolism definitions in the book that came with the cards and it explained that this card is not about the Devil in an evil Judeo-Christian sense but rather that it represents the mischevious shadow or negative aspects of the personality and not necessarily the evil parts of the personality or psyche.

I am really interested in shadow work since learning about it during a meeting with a Jungian Psychologist a few years ago and also attending Jamie Catto‘s workshop on Transforming Shadows.

I had also in fact created a flyer for my upcoming yoga class and had called it “Shadows & Light”, so it’s not surprising really that the shadow card would showup as something to assist me. I have done so much work on and been so committed to becoming a being of light that I realise it is unrealistic and in orer to truly be in this world and not of it and to become my best and most authentic self I need to know and accept both the dark and the light in me…. and that the dark in me can be a great source of wisdom- that it is not an evil thing.

I found it even more intriguing when I then drew this Goddess card for support on my journey out here…clearly along the very same lines and themes “embracing the shadow”.IMG_0011

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This theme of dark and light, of yin and yang of feminine and masculine- basically the theme of polarities is what I am exploring now. In one word it is about balance and not denying one or the other but really knowing, healing and accepting it all thus becoming a whole person.

A friend then posted this image on facebook and it fits todays theme too-thank you Jelila!photo

 

And this poem by Felix Dennis came into my mind

So, all in all the intuition course was eye opening and most of all it re-connected me with what had become a warped and unused intuition attenae- so it will be interesting to see how life and interactions differ from now on.

I then joined the Ananda Mandala meditation group led by Punnu focused on breathing thrugh the chakras as a form of breathwork that was a brilliant chance for me to release some of my mischevious shadow characteristics by screaming and shouting through the meditation for 30 minutes or so. Most people seemed to be either bawling their eyes out crying or laughing hysterically it was brilliat and cathartic and slightly mad feeling but mostly great.

Afte the meditation I came out of the studio and saw sound healers Shervin Boloorian and Larissa Israel with a friend practising chi gong in the gardens, I often see them doing these kind of energy exercises in the gardens. I must try to join them sometime.DSC_0019

I sat down with Punnu and Katherine from the Oneness course to show them the videos I had filmed and then edited since the course and also to film an interview with Punnu about Sound Healing for my ongoing documentary project out here.DSC_0041DSC_0042

Jana Johnson is leading an inspiring sounding “Embody Your Intentions” retreat that begins next week in Ubud Bali.

Here is the flyer

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I’m now heading off to go and bathe in some waterfall- sounds pretty amazing doesn’t it?

I’m sure I’ll have some cool pics of waterfalls to post tomorrow….except, wait- it has just started to rain and beng the tropics this rain could get serious and very heavy…..

Bye for now.