Reflections on The Cannes Cannes

Wow, phew and whooppeeeee. Hello again! So, since I last dropped into the stream-of-conscious freeflow of anonymous blogging in cyberspace, In the past two weeks I have been to Hong Kong, London, Cannes and Paris…

I had received some excellent tips of must see and do things in Hong Kong but my flight from Denpasaar kept being delayed because of typhoon rain in HK, eventually departing 7 hours late. I almost left the airport for one last surf on my brand new custom artboard. Let me tell you a bit about that…

I really got into surfing out in Bali- it is one of the best and most present moving meditations I have experienced in my life and Bali is one of the best surf spots on earth so I was willing and ready and grateful to creep out of the Ubud wellness jungle and hit the waves on many occasions. I befriended some local Indonesian surfers, in particular one who shapes boards and we discussed the possibility of making my very own custom board. I had the good fortune of connecting with internationally renowned artist Jean Claude Adenin in Ubud as he was preparing to launch “Lord Ganesha Gallery” specialising in “primitive” antique Javanese and Indonesian artworks. I made several visits to the gallery enjoying the evolution of the collection and murals he was painting all over the gallery walls. I was so taken by a few of the details within the murals and other complex landscape canvases he had painted in the studio at the back of the gallery, that I asked him how he would feel about me photographing aspects of the paintings to bring to my board-shaping friends and launch a concept that I’d had bubbling away for some time… “Artboards”. Basically, surfboards that are co-created with talented fine artists as luxury sea vessels as well as being highly decorative for hanging or propping up against the wall at home. Thankfully, Jean Claude liked the idea and gave me carte blanche to photograph and extract elements of his artworks, which I then pasted together in a mood board along with some sketches and brought to the board making studio. Here are some photos of that process as well as the fantastic finished result. And with this project- my “spiritual name” has been launched as a custom co-creation artboard brand “Dragonfly”. IF you want one, get in touch and we can make something unique to your design. There are other very cool surf brands out there making beautiful boards but this is my niche of focusing on the artwork and co-creating one of a kind functional art to ride and display.

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Jean Claude Adenin

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10312584_10154088651795697_8026828242094051095_nSo that was quite the sendoff aurevoir to the Bali Bliss chapter, with my very own beautiful custom artboard and an openness to meeting future co-creators on my travels.

I arrived in HK 7 hours late and basically slept a few hours before getting on the next London bound plane.

London was a soft landing, arriving at a cozy houseboat community to stay on Xanadu, an inspiring retreat in the centre of town and an occassional popup restaurant run by Author, Publisher, Experimental Chef and founder of The Cardboard Book Project, Jemma Foster.

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The gentle rocking of the boat lulled me into a deep lullabye slumber and I awoke to spend my one full day in London running some necessary and mundane errands and collecting some amazing outfits to wear for the Cannes Film Festival. The Rodnik Band creator Philip Colbert was actually on his way to launch the collection in Hong Kong so it was as though we were swapping locations and it was lovely as always to visit his studio, have a brief catchup and borrow some fun and comfortable pieces from the new “Peanuts” collab collection, as well as a perfectly cinema-themed popcorn dress and tshirt from the last collection. These dresses got a lot of admiration from people and photograph attention out in Cannes- the dresses were sucesses!

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I had a few beautiful dresses in my suitcase from my favourite shop in Ubud “Portobello Bali” and a stunning silk kimono for a very sexy ninja look. I also intended to try and make it to the studio of dear old friend Meihui Liu who’s label of romantic handmade dresses Victim Fashion Street I have been wearing and championing for more then a decade. However, Meihui was preparing for an exhibition in Spain and a Guerilla fashion show the next day on Fashion Street in East London. I was so bamboozled by a return to the underground tube system that I shockingly got a bit lost and did not have the capacity to freeze time enough to go and collect dresses in East London, in time to return to west London and set sail aboard Mama Xanadus for a much anticipated reunion and a bounteous feast. Throughout the preparations of this “Fishetarian Feast” Jemma and I exchanged travel anecdotes, creative inspirations and learnings on the shared interest of healing, herbalism and shamanism. It was a seriously interesting time to chat and to film Jemma as she effortlessly cookedup some very inventive concoctions with little tastes of this and that throughout. I can’t recommend the experience enough, if you are lucky to book one of the six seats for her supper or brunch clubs. Jemma is also available as a private chef for dinenrparties and retreats. I look forward to cutting that houseboat cooking show footage when I return to Canada next week. For now, let me divulge some images of the most amazing fishetarian feast that anyone has ever created…

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Mischa (Live Like A Tree) making energy balls for breakfast

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Author, Chef, Captain Jemma Foster

So this blog was entitled “Reflections on Cannes” and I haven’t even got there yet- obviously being terse and to the point is not really my forte…but there is so much to tell and to share! Cannes- in a (pea)nutshell…It really was a culture shock for me, after spending more then half this year meditating in the jungle or surfing the waves and becoming accustomed to people wearing all white or shorts and flip flops. I did a lot of staring at the designer D&G, Versace, Valentino ballgowns and their very waxwork wearers parading up and down the croisette or climbing in and out of ferraris and lamborghinis. I was delighted to reconnect with beloved filmy friends Loyse de Pury, Fletcher Cowan and Sharon Wyler on my first night out there. We had an amazing time drinking champagne and dancing barefoot on a mammoth yacht out at sea where upon arrival on board, I lifted my arms and squeeled in delight at the surrounding lights of cannes, the pumping loud sound system, the delicious food and other even bigger yachts. I heard Pharrell’s “Happy” for the first time that night and it felt like a perfect moment that I wanted to bottle as a scent called “Lights, Camera, Action: The Law of Attraction”.

I met a lot of film producers, directors, writers, distributors and sales agents throughout the week, mostly at parties sometimes within the film market or pavilions. I was selective in which of my projects to discuss with each person wanting to know first what they were interested in hearing about: documentary- fiction feature-tv series. I have learnt through trial and error not to just blast pitch projects at people who are likely being bombarded with information out there all week. I set the intention en route to Cannes to be open to finding deeper connections and cultivating friendships with people I would actually want to work and hangout with. I reconnected with friends I had made on my travels in Asia: Elizabeth Valentina and Nina Markus of 20th Century Fox Films and scriptwriter Shane T Hall. I reconnected with former colleagues, collaborators and London friends Jeremy Wooding, Michael Cowan, Paul Armstrong, Rhodri Thomas, Tim Nash, Loyse de Pury, Fletcher Cowan and Clara Bunge. I bumped into icon Lloyd Kaufmann founder of Troma films daily and wondered if it was a sign that maybe Troma needs me to make a shlocky feminist cult B Movie to ad to their extensive archive… I love Lloyd and Tromaville!

I consumed more alcohol in one week then I have in the last few years (I am not proud of this fact…but when the champagne was free flowing, I went with the flow,,,and it was deliciously merry-making to sip bubbles again). I actually made it to some film premiers this time around too- Jeremy Wooding’s “Blood Moon” a Western Horror fusion of cult genres which is sure to be a hit and Paul Armstrong’s “Lawrence and Holloman” a comedy bromance about two best friends, one trying to slowly kill the other- it was very dark!

I shared an apartment with a tribe of creatives from L.A, London, Argentina, Switzerland, Austria, Brazil, Ireland and Canada. We joked that our apartment would have made a great reality tv show as every morning there would be discussions about the previous evenings activities with buisness cards piling up on the tables alongside daily copies of Variety and Screen International. Everyone in that apartment was passionate about filmmaking and creativity and we really became a tribe for the week, although all operating independently. I look forward to the evolution of all my fellow cineaste tribes’ projects over the next few years and to reconnect again in Cannes- although I don’t know if I will return until I have a film that is screening as a part of the festival because then it’s a different ballgame and every invitation just lands at your feet. Gone is the daily time wasting routine of what events are happening, who to call and how to get in. It was really fun every night to glam up, dance and make new friends at Bungalow 8, Le Petit Majestic, Le Baron and David Lynch’s Popup club Il Silencio. A pleasure to breathe in the vistas, to savour the moments of being completely swept off my feet and dancing on yachts with beautiful and inspiring people. A thrill to connect with interesting companies and plant seeds for future collaborations also to promote the offerings I currently am keen to get out into the world. To discuss things like “Dreams and Insomnia” the main themes of my fiction feature (now complete and being sent to film festivals for a world premiere), to discuss the “Sound Healing” documentary with people who were either very interested in it or probably in need of it and to discuss my love of books, particularily an interest in adapting them to screen- books by Douglas Coupland, William Gibson and Jemma Foster in particular.

I had waves of memories of my other amazing “pilgrimages” to the Cannes film festival and going for the first time as a very young thing in 2000. I got invited to every party back then because I was eccentrically well dressed and so young that everyone assumed I must be the kid of someone famous or famous myself. I was visited by some ghosts of my past and memories of experiences I’d had out there having attended the festival four times over the years this being my 5th Cannes film festival. I pulled myself repeatedly into presence by appreciating the awesomeness of making it out there and diving straight in from Bali with my first fiction feature completed and a documentary on it’s way. I coached myself into a positive high vibration state of consciousness daily and it felt like some really interesting people were drawn to that light.

The Conscious Hipster wearing a dress by Portobello Bali

The Conscious Hipster wearing a dress by Portobello Bali

Clara Bunge in Peanuts x The Rodnik Band

Calara Bunge in Peanuts x The Rodnik Band

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Loyse de Pury in Peanuts x The Rodnik Band

Taking over a festival screening room for a private film presentation. Jacket by Leela Creations

I left Cannes by train for Paris (sleeping the entire 5 hour journey) and went directly to the theatre to see Loyse de Pury performing in Les Rois Du Catch. It was experimental physical theatre at it’s best- very polished and very surreal. I loved it!

I took the Eurostar the next morning arriving to attend Jamie Catto‘s creative development workshop “What about you?”. I was really very exhausted from all the travel and adventure by the time I arrived to hear Jamie challenging us to “stop being so appropriate” and start saying “Fuck you” everytime you find yourself saying “oh I’m very sorry”. We did some insightful work on breaking patterns. It feels like I have attended a lot of empowerment workshops but the work is never done- there is always more work to do in the betterment and understanding of my self. Under Jamie’s guidance, and smaller group work with my “executive advisory board” I managed to turn my irritating “People Pleaser” habit into a “Knockout Ninja Oracle” so don’t be surprised if I’m less malleable to what you want me to do for you from now on. I am a knockout Ninja now, well at least a part of me is…which will no doubt come in handy.

Finally, back in London exhausted and resting my swollen blistery feet- after walking at least 6 kilometeres per day up and down the croisette in Cannes (sometimes in heels)

I could not resist visiting the Fragrance Lab in Selfridges on the bank holiday. It’s a genius offering by my friends at The Future Laboratory and an immersive experience in understanding what goes into creating your own scent. It is something I have always dreamt of doing and I am seriously loving my new, bespoke scent. The process begins with a short personality assessment and a visual multpile choice quiz. Express results are delivered and various scents are presented which encapsulate the “essence” of your personality. My essence had bizarre ingredients like neon lipstick, asphalt, iron fillings and violets. It was a very unusual and intense statement scent and was definitely not something I would want to wear everyday. So, I went into the laboratory and collected objects and references that formed the story I wanted my signature scent to tell and the emotions I wanted the scent to activate in me when wearing it and possibly on other people who might hug or kiss me. I wanted a unique scent with yummy, moorish, romantic, nostalgic and mysterious city girl low notes and organic high notes of free-spirited adventures in the tropics- quite the combination but for me it works very well. Catch it while you can at Selfridges until June 25th!

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Bye for now..

I will soon go and chill the f*%§! out in Canada for a bit and practise stillness with a bit of silence for a few days to process the amazingness that my life has been since I jumped out of my comfort zone and left London to live the life of a cosmic adventurer.

Who knows what the next chapter holds…one thing is for sure “the future is wide open”.

 

 

Finders Keepers : Experimenting with Pingbacks

Today, I logged on to wordpress for the first time since leaving Bali and I was prompted to experiment with a pingback to a daily theme post called “Finders Keepers”.

This cartoon from The Animated Musings of Mozaic Moss immediately came to mind. It looks like just another cartoon but there are some deep things going on in her world so I felt to share the image right here, right now.

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This is an experiment. Let’s see what comes of it?

Inspiring: A Breath Of Fresh Air

Hello again! I know it’s been a little while since my last post. My weekly blog writing energy was re-directed into writing an in depth Q&A and an article for a new online web community that’s about to launch. It’s pretty cool and I look forward to sharing that with you when it’s published. After a week of Sacred Circularities blog writing and fun, I was coopedup on my own for a bit, house and dog sitting in a luxury villa quietly editing away day and night on a few videos that I’d like to wrap up out here. Music videos for Pablo J and Danny Paradise and promo videos for Desa Seni and Jungle Yoga. I’m counting down the days here in Bali before I make my way back to Europe and on to the Cannes Film Festival which is exciting and slightly daunting. I haven’t worn shoes or makeup for the last 6 months so those are two hurdles to overcome amongst many not to mention the prospect of small talk and schmoozing…can I do that now in a more conscious way? I like to believe that I am going to attract some like minded souls out there and forge some deep co-creation relationships, rather then my previous party, party, party and elevator pitch experiences out there. I have friends premiering their films, so I’m really looking forward to celebrating their efforts and my Guerilla feature film is now complete. I’m going out there to enjoy life on the med, surrounded by filmmaking geeks and stars; to let people know about my movie and to manifest a distributor or festival premier invitation for it.

Now I would like to share a story about a powerful workshop I did recently, when I crept out of the dogsitting mansion to interact with some of the shiny souls of Ubud. I was out jogging with the dog around sunset, dripping in sweat and out of breath when I bumped into Antony Abbagniano (Founder of “The Ark” Healing Center and “The Community of Healing”) and he invited me to take part. It was a one day workshop called “Alchemy of Breath” and it was hosted by Antony Abbagniano and Christobel Zamor founders of    Breath of Bliss My experience with breathwork began a few years ago when I won a competition and was invited to attend a weeklong Transformation Vacation led by Dawn Delgado and Beau Robb which incorporated daily sessions of both experiencing and supporting others through Satori breathwork.

Upon arrival in the morning my lunch order was taken and I chose a fresh salad from Alchemy , a watermelon blush juice and a chewy chocolate bar (I am seriously going to miss these three delicious diet essentials when I leave Ubud). We then gathered in a circle to introduce ourselves and set intentions for the day ahead. My intention was to learn and grow, it’s pretty much my life mission and an intention that works daily or for any workshop introduction. I always feel nervous about speaking in group circles and it always surprises me that I feel nervous. After the introductions, some paperwork was handed out and we were presented with a talk about personas; in particular the many personas or masks we wear to get by in life. I made my list of most obvious personas and then was guided to write down what was required for me to maintain each persona. That exercise was very insightful as it revealed just how much effort goes into each persona- which is not in fact the true self at all, just masks fabricated along the way to get more of what I consciously or unconsciously want and need. It was interesting to fully understand that more often then not the persona is a creation of the frightened or angry ego. We then split up into twos and had to focus on one of these personas, perhaps the one we have identified with for a long time. For the sake of story-telling, catharsis and personal revelation, I’ll share my little interview that was conducted with my main persona.

“The Muse”.

Q: What is your name?

A: Fabulous

Q: What’s the most important thing to you?

A: Contribution

Q: What are you most proud of?

A: Inspiring geniuses

Q: When did you first make an appearance?

A: As a child, sitting for painters then later when asked to be a muse for fashion designers.

Q: Where did you learn your style from?

A: Ballet comes to mind, from my days training as a dancer and from the designers who adopted me as their muse, they taught me what it involved. Also, from my mother, she is a patron to artists and writers.

Q: What are you most afraid of?

A: Being insignificant, contributing nothing and leaving no positive legacy behind in this world.

Q: What do you most want?

A: Recognition

So I had a moment of silence with the understanding of what I had been carrying along with this persona of a fabulous muse. I also understood that I had at times been feeding her too much with ego projects and other times I had been fighting against her in by dismissing her calling for my attention. I know that in recent years I have channeled all the good things about being a muse into inspiring and empowering people through life coaching. So perhaps a life coach is something of a modern day muse, empowered and operating within defined boundaries.

After exploring personas we were asked to take on one/not necessarily the same one and write it on a label to stick on our chests- choosing a persona that would be beneficial to airout and dissolve. I chose the “Cold Bitch” persona because it is one I put on often, acting aloof and sometimes uncaring or I fight it by people pleasing and overgiving. So I felt it was time to let her shine, feel the authenticity and the shame of doing so. Christobel then invited us to mingle in our personas and that was a very funny and surreal experience. I felt like the guest at a party that you would want to avoid, basically being harsh to the other personas such as “Darth Vader”, “The people pleaser” “Ms. overhwlemed” it was easy to be harsh to the meeker personas and it actually felt awkward at first to be so unlikeable, it then felt good not to care.

That was such a gift, to test out behaving in an extremely unlikeable way and to really feel and be witnessed as unpopular or unliked. I knew this was an experience I could fold into my true nature, to adopt more of a sense of discernement and less worry about being liked or likeable.

We then were given a presentation on “Conscious communication”, the crux of which being that most people are in “their story” and without awareness or understanding of that fact, we are often interacting and being triggered or hooked into other people’s “stories”. Powerful wisdom there. We did some conflict resolution exercises around conscious communication vs the blame game. This basically involved staying grounded and clear with someone getting angry at me and accusing me of things and chosing to respond with empathic questions rather then being sucked into an argument- no matter how annoying i felt at first by responding to “You are not understanding me” with “I commit to communicating clearly and other such ethereal yet empowered responses. IT helped me shift my concept of being a bitch, from being controlling, cold and unfriendly to a slightly detached and empowered observer who chooses who and what she engages with lovingly. Eureka! an Aha moment! as Oprah would say…

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After our delicious lunch break and laughter over the personas we settled in to do some breathwork. Breathwork being a rapidly trending word out here in Ubud as well as in holistic circles worldwide. I have heard it being described as “ten years of therapy in one hour”.  Lying down on my back with soft tinkly music playing in the background, I covered my face with a tshirt to assist me in dissappearing off into the deep maze of my persona and soul. We were guided to contemplate the personas we had looked at and in particular the one we had brought in to mingle at the virtual cocktail party.

As we began this rythmic circular breathing, which at times felt a bit like hyperventilation, I started to drift off somewhere and it felt a bit like time travelling. I noticed how at times I would completely stop breathing and this reminded me of my childhood where I would hold my breath instead of having screaming tantrums. It also reminded me of the times where I would hold my breath in ballet classes hoping I would pass out because after years of intensive daily training I began feeling that I wanted to quit and I would do my exercises at the barre holding my breath, hearing my heart beating louder but disappointingly, never actually able to make myself passout and be sent to the infirmary for the rest of the morning. Antony and Christobel would occassionally come and place a hand on my diaphragm reminding me to continue with the circular breathing and I would drift off even deeper into the maze of me. I had a big revelation around the bitch persona and shed a few tears understanding that I had created her to protect me and that she had caused much pain and alienation for me particularily in my close romantic relationships. I understood how she would appear when things got tough and that I would stonewall or emotionally cut off from a loved one if I felt they weren’t loving me in the way I expected or wanted to be loved..That was a huge pattern to see, the anger at not being loved in the way I felt was right, the assumption that I should be treated a certain way and if I was not then the other person was wrong- blame game. The frustration at not having the skills to express those needs in a non-accusational way without fear of them not being met. Big things I figured out then in that breathwork session and with those realisations and deep sense of calm and relief swept over me; mostly by becoming aware that by seeing those patterns they could be broken.

I awoke from the lucid dreamlike experience feeling compassion for my inner bitch and feeling love for my inner muse, with an awareness that I needed to become my own fabulous muse instead of looking for affirmation from others or hiding behind and feeding the greatness of others. I decided that in life coaching I could give that space and energy to support and empower others and out of a life coaching session, in daily life I would be my own fabulous muse and even cultivate conscious relationships with muses I might find inspiring along the way too.

Towarss the end we split up once again into twos and took turns to take a few deep breaths, relax and go into meditation. Then the other person asked some scripted deep questions to assist in revealing our true essence to ourselves, beginning with the question “what is the name of your true essence?” to which my reply was my newly adopted spirit name “Dragonfly”.

Dragonfly by Isidroa PAz Lopez customised by TCH

Dragonfly by Isidroa PAz Lopez customised by TCH

We then all sat once again in a circle to do sharings about our experiences and many people were in tears. It was a beautiful day, a steep learning curve and a very healing experience. Chirstobel and Antony led us through it all brilliantly, especially as they modelled everything taught to us themsless creating the space for vulnerability and humility within the circle.

I have had a huge burst of creativity since then and decided to get myself down to the beach for some surf time. It’s easy to get engulfed by the alluring vortex and bubble of safety and healing that is Ubud. Sometimes I compare it to Never Never Land in Peter Pan, where many run away and contribute to this conscious living Utopia remaining eternally youthful and never wanting to leave. For me, getting a change of scenery and improving my surfing abilities was a good move as it got me into extreme physicality as opposed to sitting in front of a computer editing. It also allowed me to gain some perspective on my life and recent learnings. I  think it was a confidence boost too, seeing how I have improved and how far I have come. The waves in Bali are unpredictable and often very big and the currents are really strong so I fee really brave whenever I hit the Balinese surf. I feel exhilirated and so very alive when catching the waves and my body aches with newly tonedup muscles afterwards as I happily fall asleep exhausted.  Whilst staying by the beach, I tapped into my inner fabulous muse and got stuck into creativity too with making more conscious themed comic book style illustrations and coming up with some artwork and design ideas for my own custom surfboard. I took time to answer the in depth Q&A sent to me by a new web community which is about to launch and then got stuck into writing an article on a tricky existential topic that they had asked me to contemplate and write about. I look forward to sharing that with you and more as I respond to their questions and prompts from time to time.

Over the last six months I’ve had a taste of a new way of living and there is definitely no going back to being an inner city workaholic! From now on I choose who and what I engage with from an empowered centre and I do it lovingly.

If you are interested in learning more about breathwork:

Antony is offering a breathwork cruise experience this summer which will be an adventure in sailaing the Adriatic as well as daily breathwork circles on beautiful islands along the way. Breathe on Board

And Christobel is offering workshops around the world as well as videos to empower and inspire on her website Christobel Zamor

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Later that evening, still floating with the breath of bliss and awareness… I popped by the going away party for sound healer Larissa Israel. She has been a significant part of my sound healing journey and documentary and it was a gathering of many of the sound healers I have been filming over the past few months too. It was sad to see her go and say goodbye but also exciting that she is setting off on tour.

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Shervin Boloorian and Larissa Israel

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Larissa Israel, Anne Maria Hernmarck and Jana Johnson

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Dr. Punnu Wasu

Since I packedup my life in London and began writing this blog six months ago, there has been so much momentum, such a steep learning curve, so many invitations to take part in things and comissions to write other stories… so it was a very organic wise move.

I have Balinese artist Karim Rabik to thank for suggesting the concept of writing a blog to me. It’s also been fun at times to jump over from this my home page and be a guest blogger for other sites such as The Bali Spirit Festival and Sacred Circularities too.

I will be doing some diary blogs soon from The Cannes Film Festival with videos and features on some of the people I connect with out there and I will keep on writing about my learnings and reflections as I intend to keep learning, reflecting and growing… so likely will feel to keep writing too,

Until the next blog…

 

 

 

What is a Conscious Hipster?

Hello to you who are reading this. I have figured out that you can ask questions or throw some food for thought at me directly right here on this blog by filling in the form below. I’m happy to hear from you and contribute to conscious evolution and personal empowerment  in this small way on a more public blog platform, rather then the more private one to one work I offer. Fill in the form below to get in touch.

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As I write this blog I am listening to a new mix by Optic Echo. They are amazing experimental samplers and ambient remix producers and you can listen to it by clicking this link and letting it play in another window whilst you read my blog OPTIC ECHO on Mixcloud

I get a lot of messages, emails and inquires on facebook and twitter from people asking me all sorts of questions about this and that, mostly to do with inquiries about resources or advice on wellbeing.

Lately, I am getting stuck in to the mountain of videos I have to edit, some Pre-Cannes writing of movie pitches and doing the one to one coaching, consultancy and yoga in person or via skype… so I’ve got a lot on my plate! I am fully passionate about all of the above projects and commitments, so really feeling blessed to love my work.

As a form of creative expression, I am producing some remixes of sound healing recordings to possibly hand over to Optic Echo or the DJs at Cafe Del Mar in Ibiza in an attempt to digitally send healing vibes to all those clubbers whilst they are lounging about at sunset or on a comedown the morning after the night before…

So I haven’t got a lot of brainspace or energy to personally, privately and carefully reply to every inquiry I get….let  alone go on a date. I really want to make space in my life for some romance, to go on more dates and to work less haha this is true!

I also have learnt a few things the hardway or maybe thats the best way?

I learnt that I do too much pro bono work ie freebies. Henceforth I will only be doing one pro bono project per year and I will be very selective about what that is. Feel free to submit your project proposals to me if you are looking for a Producer for a short film or art project. I will be choosing my annual pro bono creative collaboration project at the end of 2014 for production in 2015.

I have learnt that I am not going to do any more video editing work as it is not my passion or my forte, it is very obsessive and slow work for me to do and is my least favourite part of the filmmaking process, I dont mind so much to play around experimenting with editing but on anything I am expected to deliver to a collaborator or client the editing becomes a lot of physical and mental stress for me. So in the future if it is not a self initiated project I am going to ensure that the budget is big enough to hire an editor or else I will turn it down.

I have also been pondering on a solution for the sometimes powerful one question inquiries I get. Some of them seem so frantic, vital or urgent to the inquirer…so, If it’s just one question that you think I might be able to answer and that one answer might be enough to empower you…then I welcome you to send that question to me here (see the form at top of blog page and please specify if you prefer to remain anonymous or use a fake name on the form).

I will be evolving this blog into more of a platform for pondering your questions rather then the diary of introspective drizzle that has taken up much of my writing in cyberspace. I really only did that to begin finding my written voice and also as I have a personal aversion of being preached at.

I have met so many teachers and healers and Gurus along the way, who love nothing more then to sit and dish out widsom, advice or their view on the world as if it is the one and only truth. I am allergic to that and I think it’s my very immature inner “Bart Simpson” who thinks “eat my shorts” when someone patronizes me as though I know nothing and they know everything. My wiser self has learnt to intervene by saying “please ask me don’t tell me” and this sometimes throws people off course, as they have to then put in some effort to formulate a question rather then just broadacst or channel opinions at me.

It is of course really great to film inspiring experts who like to speak, rant or preach as they require no prompting and nudging, I often turn a camera on to people who talk at me and then it feels more winwin. I really can’t stand when people preach as this suggests an assumption that the person or people being preached at know nothing and should just shutup, sit and listen. I find it mostly insulting though often times fascinating and potentially interesting too. In response to feeling this way about being preached at or dictated to, I try not to preach my learnings at others in real everyday life. I make it clear that I am here for you/others if you have questions I try to answer them but I rarely offer up knowledge aas though I am an expert who needs to be listened to.

Please feel free to ask me and I will share what I know or “phone a friend/expert” to quote and get a good answer for the blogosphere.

In this blog I have turned inwards mostly to empower and teach through my own clumsy and raw journey, rather then preach at you how to evolve your own consciousness…

So now, I welcome you to ask me and I will gladly ponder on your inquiries and answer your questions or defer them to the elders and experts as and when I can. This way, The Conscious Hipster blog will grow into a platform of solutions.

This also shows my own evolution… that for now anyway I am not super interested in delving within myself anymore but in accepting myself with all I have learnt over the past years and months and moving forward into my own creative power whilst also empowering others as often as possible.I feel this blog serves both my own expression/empowerment and a way to give back and possibly inspire you.

This is an experiment (my famous last words!)

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So I’d like to get tucked in now to defining what I believe a “Conscious Hipster” to be, mostly because I am quite frequently asked to describe my blog to people. I also like the term “mindful observer” which resonates with me as something of a trend-spotter, for example- if I see a new style or “look” on the streets several times, if I get asked the same question several times by different people or if I get told the same story/philosophy by a few different people, I can start to spot and predict trends that will swell and evolve to many more people asking the same questions, telling the same stories, thinkig the same things, wearing the same looks. This trend predicting started for me with spotting personal style on the streets of London…I used to experiment with it back then too by going to the trendiest clubs and doing something odd as a trend forecast experiment like sticking plastic gift bows all over my head just to se if it would be copied or pickedup as a trend anytime soon. I found it really funny to see photos a few weeks later of other people going out to parties covered in metallic gift bows! I learnt how easy it could be to start a trend and I learnt that the world is possibly divided between those who want to innovate and those who want to discover cool things to replicate oh and the third space that really don’t think about this stuff at all.  I also blame/credit a lot of my learnings in trend evolution on the cult cool website Dirty Dirty Dancing which featured Alistair Allen’s documentary photography of mine and every other club kids’ looks back then.

Anyhoooo…

To me, a “Conscious Hipster” is an archetype that I have created as a muse. a muse for me and a muse for you if you want to be inspired by the concept of consciusness being cool too…

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I also love the idea of “Conscious” becoming “The new cool” as a very positive option and path with gaining momentum in popular culture. I just get such a kick out of the notion of everyone start to be more mindful of their thoughts words and actions especially when it comes to anyone or anything being cool- it’s always seemd srt of the antithesis of that to me in fashion and music and film…it’s all seemed so ego-driven and fragile as a culture. One day someone called me a Hipster and I felt insulted so I went away and wondered to myself why I found being call “hipster” an insult…I justified all sorts of things to myself such as “I am an individual not a follower of the pack” “I have my own personal style, I do not follow trends” and “I am consious not superficial” all that pondering led me to meld those two powerful zeitgeisty words and embrace them, charge them up with positivity and see what might happen if I threw them together out there into the blogosphere to infiltrate popular culture. These two contradictory and contrasting words/worlds sounded at first like an oxymoron to me, in putting the words CONSCIOUS & HIPSTER together….but really there is nothing cooler to me then heart-centered consciousness…that is what I’m happy to dedicate my life to learning about, promoting and living.

CONSCIOUS (as well defined by the free dictionary):

con·scious  (kŏn′shəs)

adj.

1.

a. Having an awareness of one’s environment and one’s own existence, sensations, and thoughts. See Synonyms at aware.
b. Mentally perceptive or alert; awake: The patient remained fully conscious after the local anesthetic was administered.
2. Capable of thought, will, or perception: the development of conscious life on the planet.
3. Subjectively known or felt: conscious remorse.
4. Intentionally conceived or done; deliberate: a conscious insult; made a conscious effort to speak more clearly.
5. Inwardly attentive or sensible; mindful: was increasingly conscious of being watched.
6. Especially aware of or preoccupied with. Often used in combination: a cost-conscious approach to further development; a health-conscious diet.
n.

In psychoanalysis, the component of waking awareness perceptible by a person at any given instant; consciousness.

And HIPSTER

hip·ster (hĭp′stər)

n. Slang

One who is exceptionally aware of or interested in the latest trends and tastes,

It works though for me and seems to resonate with others out there too.

I have started hearing people say “oh are you the conscious hipster?” and this is a big compliment to me that people read my blog and that some people know it’s me who writes this blog.

I have explained quite a few times to people that maybe indeed I am a conscious hipster, but really it’s an archetype that I have created to try and push a new paradigm into pop culture. I wish for more people of influence and of all ages- especially in creative fields (for creativity being a global, universal, often wordless language) to start being more conscious and heart centered rather then ego driven and to support this mentality in schools, in the work place/office, in collaboration, in communication and in relationships.

Anyway, wow there is so much I want to say today…this is all just the tip of the iceberg and I’m kind of missing the awesomeness of having had an Editor for a week when I blogged for Sacred Circularities (thank you Goddess Editor Michelle Tan). Having an editor made my writng more terse and to the point, less rambly…as it tends to come out stream of consciousness when I go it alone and with nobody to tell me to chop this or that out…

I want to share some chic portraits I have shot recently after inspiring meetings with international Catalysts, Visionaries and Conscious Hipsters.

Here is Jaguar Mary.

She is the Founder of Sacred Circularities hooping and empowerment retreats and she is an amazing international inspirational creative and conscious woman.

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Here is Hai Dai.

He is the Creative Director of WOW BALI and The Mansion Baliwood an amazing VJ and cool, visionary, inspirational man.

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Here is Shervin Boloorian.

He is the Founder of The Bali Sound Healer’s Collective. He is a Shaman, a Tama-Do Sound Healer, a musician, singer and visionary sensitive Ubudian man.

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I would now like to answer some recent inquiries about wellbeing retreats for people who have been diagnosed with a major but not necessarily terminal illness or are in recovery from a major operation- basically in both cases in need of physical healing and wanting to veer away from traditional western medicine.

Now I had to think fairly long and hard about consulting on this one as most retreats are designed for people dealing with stress and diet issues not massive physical ailments.

I would say first and foremost that I am sending masses of love and good vibes your way- to those of you in particular who wrote t me about this particular concern and any of you out there who might be going through something similar.

It is important to adress three elements: BODY, MIND and SPIRIT in order to heal holistically.

The first step would be setting some conscious intentions to heal and adopt an atitdue of gratitidue for even the smallest of things such as the chirp of a bird or the fluffyness of a cloud or a ray of sunshine or a calm breeze…Then adopting a practise of mindfulness and a mentality of positive psychology.

I am coming to understand more and more that the mind affects the body and then the law of attraction gets into action. So developing a practise of meditation and an attitude of gratitude are essential in healing.

Next vital step would be to do a cleanse and assist the body to heal itself by eliminiating any build up of toxins in the organs and bloodstream. It is easiest to do a juice and soup cleanse, with some days of fasting at the end ideally being in silence and then having colonics to wash any remaining gunk and parasites.

After a full body detox the cells have a chance to regenerate and then it’s time to adopt a change of daily diet incorporating a lot of fruits and vegetables as well as juice and smoothies.

Here is some delicious raw food that /I have had the pleasure of eating lately:

RAW Burger & Jicama RAW fries at The Seeds of Life, Ubud

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RAW Vegan Chocolate Brownie and The Holy Trinity : Veggies & Dips at SOMA, Ubud

I love fresh Juices in Rasta Colours

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Jamu to cleanse and boost, Green Juice to cleanse and boost, Watermelon to hydrate.

Ideal Detox Diet is: NO DAIRY, NO WHEAT, NO SUGAR, NO MEAT.

In cases of potentially terminal illnesses, the ideal sceario is to go and spend some time at a holistic healing centre ideally one specialising in either Chinese or Ayurvedic medicine.

One place in the world where I have spent a significant amount of time and have also found to be a very supportive environment in which to heal alongside others who are healing… from their hearts to their heads to their internal organs (one never really knows why others are there unless they directly tell you) was Findhorn in Scotland.

It is an impressive sustainable intentional Eco and Spiritual community that was founded in the 1950’s and continues to grow and evolve incorporating permaculture principles, meditation practises, a village community of over 300 year round residents as well as a former castle hotel which is now The Findhorn Foundation : Cluny College of Holistic Studies.

Other global healing centres foused on physical healing (with the benefits of spiritual and mental healing) worth checking out are:

Esalen

Omega

The Chopra Center

Hollyhock

The Sanctuary Retreat Sweden

Bali Vitality

Transformation Vacations

There are so many more place around the world too, just reasearch on the internet for Ayurveda, Chinese Medicine, Herbalism or Holistic Healing Retreats near to you and follow your intuition if someone or somewhere is calling you.

I believe the intention behind anyone offering such a retreat or healing center is currently still pure and good and that the wellness industry has not yet become so commercialised that people are offering bullshit healing retreats…not yet thankfully. Any doubts about something you have discovered? Send me your questions and I will do some research and reply with a blog review about the place for you and others out there…win win :)

Here is a helpful online global directory called Retreat Finder.

So, the following is my response to several questions with the same underlying theme around alternative therapies and healing in a more holistic way, rather then going into a hospital, undergoing invasive surgeries or treatments and ingesting conventional general Western medicines.

Interesting to see how this is become a more frequent inquiry…

I am personally a big believer in herbalism and traditional plant medicines, this is not necessarily a cure but is certainly a naturopathic way of healing the body/organic matter with like/organic matter. Depending on how much pain you are in and how weak or strong you are feeling mentally you could either go and study a holistic healing modality as a way to receive much healing and also learn about how to incorporate it into your lifestyle and eventually when ready, to offer it up (even professionally) to others. If you are in a state of panic or in a lot of pain then you probably just need to receive physical and mental healing and support.

1: See a therapist and get some counselling- do not “zip it up and keep it deep inside”

2: Develop a practise of mindfulness, a P.M.A positive mental attitude and meditation/inward reflection moving on to rising above mental clutter to inner peace

3: Study a form of healing that interests you at a centre where you can live a holistic lifestyle for anywhere from a few days to a few months. This would probably involve quitting your job but then a serious illness is likely to force you into that position or at least to take a sabbatical…a perfet time to learn something you are passionate about that may also empower you and others.

I realise that these centers and foundations are usually expensive places to stay at or study. Most of these places offer scholarships and some offer live-work-study trades wherin you can go and live and study there and in exchange must do some work such as gardening (I have done this and LOVED it- getting my hands dirty was very healing for me and such a meditation practise) or cooking (I have done this too and learnt to cook this way- by cooking delicious vegetarian food for 500 people!) or cleaning ( the least fun in my opinion but still very important, cathartic and satisfying).

So there are often ways to attend healing centers or schools that wont put you into debt.

You can also study different healing modalities online such as this Masters in Herbal Studies (which I am very tempted to do further education online part-time as I globe-trot and once I get through the mountain of video editing work that is currently in front of me straining my eyes on the laptop) Check out places to study healing online such as The American College of Healthcare Sciences.

Study is a great way to learn, to grow, to receive and then eventually to give back.

When battling an illness it can also be a wonderful distraction from suffering and self pity as well as a motivator in getting better.

Obviously it really depends on what illness one is dealing with and at what stage it is at ie manic depression would require some downtime to receive councelling, do some journalling and get grounded back into a healthy body not necessarily an ideal state for learning (although learning any new skill is a confidence booster so can be a great healer for depression) Advanced cancer on the other hand, may likely require some surgery to remove tumors according to traditional western medicine; though I have heard many real life stories about a lifestyle change, diet change and incorporation of yoga and meditation completely eliminating cancers!

Trust your gut on what path is right for you.

Seek your deep intuitive inner wisdom.

Do your research.

You know what is right for you and there are so many healers waiting to help you with alternative modalities, so many resources, healing centres and retreats out there.

GOOGLE is your friend!

I have made pilgrimages to several sacred sites around the world- from the Himalayas to Lourdes to Glastonbury. In this lieftime I hope to visit many if not every sacred site around the world from El Camino to the river Ganges to Graceland.

I can highly reccommend pilgrimages as a wonderful time and space to reflect and to heal. There have been often terminally ill people wheeled along on these pilgrimages in delight at the miracle of being out on a sacred adventure and this always nurtures great humility in me to witness. The healing I have felt and seen taking place on pilgrimages to sacred sites has shown me the power of intention and the power of faith.

If there is anywhere sacred in the world that calls to you, I would say do what you can to go there and you will have a amazing healing adventure and probably several epiphanies about the meaning of life along the way.

I find it interesting and also worrying to receive messages from young and seemingly healthy people or friends who have suddenly been diagnosed with terminal or harsh diseases and are looking for retreats to go and nurture their mind body and soul and figure out what is next and how they are going to heal.

I believe it has to start with the mind, the right mindset to overcome an illness and to heal. I also believe that illnesses and disease are the bodies way of crying out for some attention, for example everytime I get really stressed out, I lose the hearing in one ear- it totally weirds me out and makes me feel very discombobulated whenever it happens. I have learnt that it’s my body’s way of saying “hey you! listen up! you don’t like what you are hearing so i’m stopping you from hearing things hahaha. So speak up now stick up for you or someting thats bothering you or you’ll just hear more of that crap from the one ear thats working right now if not maybe the other side will temporarily shut down too!” I think it was my stress related loss of hearing that first got me interested in “Sound Healing” too.

Then once a new frame of mind has been adopted, an entire body, mind, spirit makeover or action plan needs to happen ideally in a supportive environment in order to move ahead with healing.

I also want to share some great photos of the beautiful healers and cultural catalysts I have had the pleasure of meeting with lately…

But for now just please know that I am open to answering your questions on here as a keen researcher with access to some amazing teachers and as someone committed to walking the conscious path and then walking the talk, one step at a time.

For my ext blog or for a future post, I will open up my “Little black” Holistic book and make a list of the top ten healers I have had direct positive experiences with and links to their websites or contact details-that is very precious information to receive in a blog!

Right now though,  it’s way past my bedtime and that’s a lot of conscious drizzle that just poured out of me…yawn zzzzz

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Bye for now…

Wizardry, Healing, Alchemy

I love my magical life…

After a week of intensive hoop training I feel on a new path of mastery with the sphere, the hoop and the circle as a portal to other dimensions. If you are interested to read more about the art of hooping, I have been blogging about the amazing experiences for the past week on Sacred Circularities and there will be other guest bloggers over on that site for each weeklong retreat over the next three weeks.

Today…

I had breakfast with a Wizard

aka Yogi Master and Dancer Anastasis.

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Anastasis is only reachable by what he describes as “Ethermail” no phone- wow how unusual these days- just like me (well, until Lynne Franks kindly gave me her old phone which was a very supportive metaphor- Thank you Lynne ;)

Anastasis was a ballet dancer and these days has a yoga and dance school in Crete and is mostly touring the world teaching his unique style of “Zorba Yoga”. He can be found this summer teaching at Yoga Festivals in Istanbul, Barcelona, Oxford and Turkey. If you get a chance to practise with him you are in for such a treat. We were doing some early morning filming for Danny Paradise’s new music video “Everyday Grace”. I have attended several Ashtanga and Shamanism workshops now with Danny and Anastasis teaching together and have found the m all enlightening and empowering- highly reccomended!

I had coffee with a Healer

aka Artist and Singer/Songwriter Jelila at Starbucks, of all places! Meeting a healer in Starbucks makes me think of The Matrix for some reason…

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I paid off the remaining %50 of an original artwork/painting of hers that I am delighted to have accquired and also had a chance to checkout her new jewellery designs.

I am a massive fan of Jelila’s healing crystal jewels and book about crystal healing. I have been learning a lot about healing and crystals in particular from her over the last few months and she has become a great friend and a soul sister out here.

I had lunch with an Alchemist

aka Artist & Filmmaker SOH Alex Vermeulen at Ubud Raw food hotspot Alchemy.

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I was invited back to Alex’s studio to view his latest feature film SOH which is a mashup of Science Fiction and Opera/Theatre

You can view it here 

I learnt that Alex was a pioneer of PIoneer interactive VJ software and I have asked him to be my VJ mentor…as he said he has moved on from VJing and is mostly interested in making feature films these days and would love to work with Sci-Fi author William Gibson and make music videos with Lady Gaga and Prince. Watching some of his live VJ demos was mind-blowing and made me think of a scene in a movie I love “The Fifth Element”, where Leeluu is having her mind blown by all these scenes of terror and the shadows in human nature when she discovers the internet…it felt a bit like that. I was impressed when he told me that one of his VJing highlights was the premier of American Psycho in NYC.

I also got to meet a renowned healer called Per Van Spall who popped over briefly. I had heard a lot of good things about Per, so it was interesting to finally meet him.

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All in all it has been a most inspiring day and I live for the magic in life.

The more I welcome magic and wonder, the more it seems to find me too. Such is “The Law of Attraction” in action.

I am currently excited about getting back on the remixing horse as I feel very inspired to produce some electronica remixes of Sound Healing as well as diving into editing some beautiful projects including music videos for Pablo J and Danny Paradise, a promo for Desa Seni “Celebrate Life” and one for “Rising Hearts” which is an Acro Yoga and thai massage retreat experience. That’s how I roll on independent projects- by bouncing between audio and visual platforms- to keep up the enthusiasm and freshness.

I’ll basically be geeking out on my computer for the next few weeks…

Glad I have my hula hoops and yoga practise to keep me in shape….maybe I will take a break and flee to the sea and surf- catch the waves whilst I still can.

Europe is beckoning me and it seems like I will make a pilgrimage over to this year’s Cannes Film Festival to catchup with industry friends and former colleagues, to wear some great outfits, to have some glam fun in a new and conscious way and to promote a community project which is also my writing/directing feature film debut- now complete. Maybe I’ll even get some job offers or more Creative work out of it? Yes please!

These are some recent posters I have made (feel free to share them) and bye for now xo

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Nyepi & Nadya

Life has been moving at a rapid pace post Bali Spirit Festival…

I had a brilliant time celebrating my Finnish friend Anne’s birthday by seeing Dustin Thomas and Xavier Rudd play live in Uluwatu with a backdrop of sunset and waves at a Cleaner Waters fundraiser at The Surf Villas.

I did a two day intensive training of Ashtanga Yoga and Shamanism with Danny Paradise and Anastasis and these two are really amazing teachers with the beautiful Bishaka aka Nannapat Tanapatita assisting and showing some of her shadow yoga kung fu moves too. If you go to Danny’s website you can see the wonderful retreats they are offering in Europe this summer including a week aboard a luxury sailboat, which will no doubt be amazing!

I shot a music video for Danny’s new song “Everyday Grace” it’s a funky dancy discoish tune and I am excited about the video which also features Anastasis dancing and Bibi doing some kungfu moves- a community creative project. We also shot some live jams of a few other Danny Paradise songs so more good stuff to come there too…totally inspired by and loving that crew…my shamanic soul family. It feels like I am still on the “Road to Yogini” veering onto “The Road to Shamaness” and I like it a lot!

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Lynne Franks was also in Ubud for the Bali Spirit Festival and a few days afterwards so we got to have some quality time catching up, talking empowerment and chanting “Nam Yoho Renge Kyo” in her garden as well as meeting many of her interesting Ubud/Bali friends (she has many!).

I was invited to attend a water ceremony by the beach in Canggu as part of releasing the past year and preparing for the new year, where people were carrying all sorts of vaguely scary looking shrines and offerings to dip them in the sea, also to be blessed by a priest and then go to collect blessed holy water from the sea. As I moved closer to get some good photographs, a sudden large wave swept me and many others under water taking all my gear underwater too, wallet, camera , phone, dictaphone, chargers, sunglasses etc though I managed to hold my big Nikon out of the water like the lady of the lake carrying excalibur- it was quite a miracle that camera was not destroyed  (the currents can be shockingly strong out here). It was also a powerful reminder of the unpredictable force and strength of mother nature.

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I headed back up to Ubud to attend a party at Lynne Franks’ Ubud Oasis and to catch the divine Nick Wallaki’s Betelnut gig with support from Greta Orion and Radha Divine ( I have grown to love all three of these musicians as they are the shiny local Ubud Music Superstars). Unfortunately though I didn’t make it to that gig in the end as I got heldup at the conscious Goddess gathering at Lynne Franks’ Villa for her last night in Bali and it felt so comforting to be with a familiar friend from London after the whirlwind of the Bali Spirit Festival and the past few months of living a completely different lifestyle away from London…

So for Nyepi (which is a family time to be still at home with no electricity and no talking) I was invited by fashion designer Nadya to join her clan of internationals and expats and stay at Kura Kura a beautiful Yoga retreat right by the beach in Canggu.

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It was a beautiful place to spend the Nyepi days and the group she had gathered were all interesting and kind and intelligent and fun.

I felt a lot of gratitdue for being included amongst them during this family time.

We went out on the night of the Ogoh Ogohs which made me think of “Where The Wild Things Are” a parade through the streets of handmade monsters or giant sculptures depicting vices and cautionary tales from “Greed” to “Lust” to “Gluttony” it looked like most of the 7 deadly sins were covered by the Ogoh Ogohs too…to scare us all into nightmares and probably into being good viceless people…

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How epic are these depictions of terror? There are some even more scary ones such as the woman sacrificing her baby or the man beating up his wife….I’ll leave those ones to your imagination…needless to say I had totally weird dreams that night!

The following day of peace and quiet involved playing dressup with some creative friends as models including Prehida Permatasari, Lauren Elaine, Dylan Tarn, Mary Manifestor, Michelle and little Jamie all wearing Nadya’s exquisite handmade and reversible creations. Here are some lovely photos from that day- an angelic contrast to the monsters of the night before- scaring the terrors away with our conscious styling!

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Tomorrow I begin a hula hooping adventure with international goddess JAguar Mary and friends…

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I am taking part in a one week hula hoop training and personal empowerment retreat led by international Goddess Jaguar Mary called Sacred Circularities

I will be writing a daily diary reflection blog about the experience up on here so read all about it by following this link for a week Sacred Circularities Blog

See you on the other side of the circle…

 

 

Portraits : Juergen Teller

Hello again! I hope you have had a chance to checkout my posts over the past week as a contributor to The Bali Spirit Festival Blog. It was a brilliant festival, so many bands, so many yoga teachers and so many new inspiring people…

It was fun to write with a focus on music and reviewing the impact of the sonic experiences.

For todays return to my homepage I’d like to share a cool portrait I shot a few years ago that I have just randomly discovered on my hardrive. I love shooting video and photographic portraits. It is always such an intimate and unique experience completely dependent on the relationship that stews and brews between object and subject. Portraits are a passion- just me and a subject with the thin veil of a camera between us.

My favourite people to shoot are artists and musicians because creatives always make for interesting, stimulating and collaborative experiences wherein the dialogue that takes place around the shutter click is where the true magic happens for me or the alternating between record and pause is where I really get to see the essence of the person I am with. Freezing a moment in time that will last so much longer then either of our physicality here on earth is a powerful notion to me, that reflective awarness that we can freeze time and leave little droplets of essence behind through imagery…

I feel like I might start to share more of my video portraits and photo portraits both old and new as I have shot some really interesting, talented, inside-and-out beautiful people over the years. It could also be a sweet and simple alternative to blogging my internal thought process as a diary for you out there to read and probably judge me by…

If you would like me to make a video or shoot some photos for you, please note I’m currently more into income stream and sustainable living than the Artist’s Bartering System which I have been surviving off for the last couple of months as I float around Asia and the Tropics.

I am open to amazing or luxurious exchange offers, otherwise I have no energy, time or space for freebies, favours or unpaid collaborations. I’ve also got a backlog of videos to edit and I am committed to sitting down and working on those… though this puts my body into a state of panic as editing actually really hurts me…my eyes, my mind, my back and my shoulders…it’s a big sacrifce and it is such an important part of the filmmaking process but it is not my passion or my forte. For me editing is a means to an end a necessary part of the process that requires a lot of yoga and massage to undo.

I much prefer to work with a budget, hiring an expert editor who can work quickly and confidently. Editing is unhealthily obsessive and slow work for me.

Feeling full of gratitude that thanks to Hubud, I have found an amazing former MTV and Hollywood film editor who is on board for cutting at least a promo trailer right now for my Sound Healing documentary project. This also means I am able to focus on the 2 hotel promos, 2 music videos and 1 retreat experience video that I have shot in the last 2 months all unpaid, all as favours or on exchange and all in need of cutting and signing off.

I’m experimenting yet again with the Law of Attraction and The Law of Abundance here… so I’ll share this fact and see what opportunities it may manifest.

My short films and documentaries have been to international festivals and won awards. I have now completed my second fiction feature film intended for cinemas, my first as a Writer/Director. My photos have been published as album covers, in books and in international magazines including Vogue. You don’t know who I am as I write under a pseudonym and I really like it that way.

If you know me, you probably know it’s me.

It feels liberating to write an anonymous blog, to open up about where I am at personally and creatively and to share my stream of consciousness ramblings and now some of my archive video and photo portraits too.

Here is TCH “Portrait From The Past” #1 Juergen Teller

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